For the first time.

seventeen

*james's pov*

It had been a few weeks, since i found lucy. I haven't left her side once, she would come round mine to sleep and I would stay round hers, I never wanted her to be alone, I never wanted her to cut but it's not as easy as that. My parents didn't mind Lucy staying over they were just happy that I was staying out of trouble. We would go to school like normal then come home and just watch movies, and on the weekend I would treat her to a meal or we'd just stay in and catch up on coursework..we hadn't done anything else since that night I pleasured her, but it was still perfect.

I can still remember the night when I saw her cuts, her in the emotional wreck she was. I had seen scars on her wrists before but I didn't think to ask because it was all in the past now and I thought it wasn't my place. But her new cuts were in the present and I was there and It could have been my fault she cut and so now I had every right to confront her. She's my girlfriend, no secrets ever.

We were at the park just enjoying each others company, not really saying much. There was plenty of free benches to sit on but us being us, we laid on the grass staring up at the world.

*lucy's pov*

"Lucy, i want you to be able to tell me everything" James said, i knew exactly what he was hinting at, and what he wanted me to tell him. I didnt reply "I mean we can discuss it another time if you want?" he said placing his hand round me, no i wanted to tell him everything, now. "James i rather discuss it now" i said sitting up and crossing my legs beginning to twiddle with my fingers, James was resting on his elbow ready for me to speak. "Erm well where do i start? Well before i moved her to attend this college, I had a boyfriend, my first boyfriend his name was Max, Max was 17 and i was 15, one night when we were at his..things got a litte, lets say carried away, Max wanted to take the next step, Were as me being only  being 15 i didnt really want to, it was silly he tried to have sex with me but i refused and ran out. And then the next day when i got to school everyone was making horrible comments even my 'friends' behind my back, a girl named Becky and her friends, they ..they..they" i said stuttering on my own word remembering my past as James wrapped his arm around me "They began to call me, horrible words, like slut, slag, i hadnt done nothing, i tried telling them that and they'd just say thats not what Max you'd think it would have passed after a few weeks, it didnt it got worse, They started to just verbally abusing me for anything, my clothes, my weight, my family, my grades, everything. One night i was walking home and they'd planned to beat me up, they did severly breaking my arm and knocking a few teeth out, I ran home and began to hate myself when i thought about everything.." i felt tears falling, but i had to continue "I wanted to leave, leave my house, leave this earth, just leave everything and everyone. I stopped eating and started cutting, every day become a struggle and i would try to cut a little bit more every day until i finally cut myself so deep, i passed out from the amount of blood loss and was taken into hopsital. I then told my parents everything, and once i was released from hospital i was moved here. Thats were i spent my last few weeks at school finishing my GCSE's meeting Kate, and evenutally starting college here." I was a reck and i didnt even realise, James kissed my head and didnt let me go, he didnt talk he just hugged me. "come on, lets get you cleaned up" I heard him saying standing up and reaching for my hand, once i was up he laced our fingers together and made our way to the car, to his house.

********

notes:

So i'm so sorry if this doesnt make sense i needed to update it for your guys, and ive been so busy latley, sorry!xxx