For the first time.

twentyfour

*Jame's Pov*

I'd just pulled up outside Lucys place, i didnt tell her i was back today but hopefully she wont mind. I walked up to the door and knocked twice, no one replied. I know she's in the light in the hallways on and she never leaves the house without turning off all the lights. I decide to shout through the letterbox in hope that if she knew who it was at the door, she might answer it a bit quicker. I started to head back to the car, when i hear her shout my name, i'd missed her voice, thats smooth voice. "James" She stated fairly quietly that i nearly didnt hear i turned around quickly and ran up to her. I dont know what took over me all i know is that i need her, to smell her, to talk to her, to love her. We pulled apart i studied her face noticing things which werent there before, she had purple bags under her eyes, constant red cheeks and now stained cheeks from the tears which roll down both her cheeks she pulls a small smile which i can tell shes faking, and quickly looks down at the floor. I dont want to ask her about her appearence and instead pull her into a hug tighter hoping to fic whatever had happened when i'd been gone. "are you okay? ive missed you so much lucy. i love you" i state quietly into her hair as i take the scent of cocunut. She pulls away quicker than what i'd expected and i begin to miss the presence in which i just shared with her. She quickly looks away when we part and tries to avoid i contact "yeah im fine" shes says quitely, gazing at her bare toes on the cold pavement. "Lets get you inside" i say to her, not knowing what to say, i would have thought she'd be happy to see me, its as if she cant even bare to look at me. 

*Lucy's pov*
I had no idea how to react when i heard James's voice, echo through the rooms. When i saw him i was mesmerized by the fact he still seemed to exsisted. Ive missed him, alot, alot would be an understatement. The shock that the boy i'd been crying about, the boy i'd been pleading to come home was there, right in front of me, I could'nt string words together i could'nt even look it him, in fear that he'd not like what he'd left behind. 

*James's pov (sorry i keep changing)*
I make my way into the kitchen, and put the kettle on, Lucy follows me and i have no idea what to tell her i mean i cant tell her why i was gone, or why i was gone for so long, i cant even ask her whats up, i dont want to really say anything in fear that i'll mess up what ever we have or shall i say had. I lean against the counter waiting for the kettle to boil while lucy stands against the counter opposite me keeping her hands out of sight while she continues to look down at her toes she keeps wiggling. "So how have you been?" I say hoping to get a open answer "oh ive been good, how about yourself" she says keeping her eyes on the ground "yeah ive been great, even better now im here" i say walking up to her putting the strand piece of her hair behind her ear and lifting her chin up to explore the brown eyes which i'd missed. I gazed into her eyes, hoping to find the old Lucy in there, but i couldnt seem to find her. I could tell she was studying my face while i was exploring her eyes, she bought her hands up to my cheek, gently rubbing my cheeks with her thumbs in small circles, her touch is all needed right now. "Whats wrong lucy? I know somethings wrong?" I say trying to maintain eye contact with her, she doesnt answer and instead brings her face up to mine and tilting my face down to plant a kiss on my forhead, "I dont know, i've missed you so much, and ive tried to talk to you so many times, texting you multiple times, you not anwering most of them." She says stuttering on a few words, shes acting nervous and i have no idea why. "Why are you nervous?" I question her, avoiding the reasons to why i havent answered her messages "Im not, im just tired" she states quietly walking out of my presence to the kettle to continue making tea. "here" she says handing me a cup, thats when i see it the piece of cloth hiding her wrists, "so whats with the cloth?" i say "oh erm, i dont know really, i quite like it" she states nervously quickly handing me my cup and hiding her wrist again. I think i know whats hiding beneath the cloth, but i dont wanna push her further, after coming back today. We both hed into the living room, to sit down and drink "can we maybe sit in you're room to watch telly" i say to her "why?" she says, slightly confused. "Well its more comfortable" I say and with that i follow her into her room. When we get to her room she quicky climbs over the bed to grab something and puts it in the side unit, instead of questioning her i just sit down on the bed and sprawl my legs out infront of me, turning on the tv. I dont know what to say to her, i dont know why its so difficult, but i know somethings wrong, i mean i can even see evidence but i need to know what the reason is. She sits next to me, crossing her legs and gazes at the tv. I pull her toward me and she looks at my slightly worried to what im doing and giggles when she realises im pulling her closer to me ive missed her laugh. I place my arm around her waist hoping to get her to lie down with me which she does, we put on a movie, which she is clearly into  as her eyes dont leave the screen. I look down at her wrists ones got the piece of cloth of the other is bare, when she notices me looking she tries to hide her cloth covered wrist with her bare wrist i look up at her, and lean into kiss her on the cheek, taking her cloth cover wrist into my hand she doesnt move her wrist and continues to let me hold them, i move apart from her keeping one arm around her and with the other bringing the hand which has her wrist in towards me, she doesnt attempt to stop me because she knows to well that i know whats happening beneath this cloth. I take my other hand from behind her to remove the cloth on her wrist, and im greeted by multiple marks, scabs, a bruise, and a few deep wounds. I dont question why she has them, because i know this is not the time but i will ask her soon, when i know shes strong enough to speak to me instead. I raise her wrist to my mouth kissing it multiple times, i wish all the pain that she consumes would just go away, come to me even and leave her strong and happy but i know that wont happen, once ive finished kissing every scari can see on her wrist i lift her onto my lap and just hug her. We dont speak, we dont even say one word, we just hug eachother not one of us wanting to let go, I feel her tears fall onto my top, and i really have no idea what to do i just dont let go of her.

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notes: 

SORRY its not all that good, but im trying, have so many exams and alot of coursework so im not updating regularly than i would like to. I would really love some support on my new story tattoos and piercing but you know hehe okay thankyou guys with all this support i love you all so very much :)))) ALSO PLEASE HELP ME TO GET TO 3K BY THE END OF FEBUARY THATS KINDA MY GOAL SOOOOO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, THANKYOU FOR SUPPORT PLEASE TELL OTHERS HEHEHEH THANKYOU!!!xxxxxxx