ALRIGHT THE TIME
THE TIME HAS COME
when Jenna has a generally relevant rant ANYWAYS
nah I actually mean the fact that it is almost thanksgiving and you know what that means?
FAMILY DRAMA YAY
jk jk but I think I should start a little thing
types of people on holidays.
and by this is I mean people in families, friends, or annoying people in general.
soooo here starts the first one- types of people on thanksgiving.
I mean we gotta get into the thanksgiving spirit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
grandma- honey why don't you have a boyfriend yet?
me- grandma why dont you have a coffin yet?
#thanksgivingclapback
OMG THATS REALLY MESSED UP IM SORRY BUT IM LEAVING IT UP IN CASE ANYONE ELSE APPRECIATES MY DARK HUMOR
1) the drunk aunt
the one who gets drunk at every holiday whether it's Christmas or Earth day.
this is usually the one that laughs until they pee and gets so drink that the turkey is a dog. *pets it lovingly*
2) that one grandma
aka the one who will ask you questions until the meal gets cold, and then some. "where is ur bf jenna" "how's grades jenna" "why aren't you eating turkey jenna"
*cries at every question*
3) the mom who obsesses over thankfulness
alright listen up. I get that it's thanksgiving but tone it down?!
*asks everyone what they're thankful for the minute they walk in the door*
*pours wine for everyone that says something sappy*
*doesnt let anyone eat until they say what they're thankful for*
4) the annoying toddler
all they care about is playing on your phone.
*psa- don't let them, inevitably they will drop it in the turkey*
5) the politically incorrect uncle/dad
this is usually the one who will bring up politics from the most irrelevant topic, and then argue about it with another family member
"wow jenna I like your necklace!" (family member)
"thank you it was only $15" (me)
"WELL SUSAN YOU KNOW DONALD TRUMP WILL DECREASE TAX RATES"
"SHUT UP BOB YOU KNOW HILLARY IS RIGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY"
(btw I'm not saying I support either of them so don't get salty)
6) the other annoying group of children
this is the worst kind. Usually they run around your house wreaking havoc and destroying things while nobody is looking. (also these are the reason that you keep your bedroom door shut during the meal)
7) there's always ONE family member who is salty about everything
"i just love this dress I bought! Don't you, Joanna?"
"FKN HOE ASS I GOT A MANICURE FOR MORE MONEY THAN UR DRESS YOU STUPID ASS BIH"
8) your best friend
the one who sometimes comes to dinner with your family and decides to never again because your family is loco
9) scary aunt Joan
the one who shows up late af and is usually grumpy and smokes cigarettes and has a raspy voice and has scared you since you were 3
10) the obnoxious group of dads/uncles
the ones who watch football the whole time and drink beer and yell and are usually egotistical misogynists (they think that the women's place is in the kitchen and they expect women to take care of them)
YAY I'm surprised I got all the way to 10 tbh 😂 Idk I have too much experience with awkward families.. anyways I hope you enjoyed this and I hope I made you laugh
-jenna 💋
