Twelve Days of Christmas... Son of Sauron style...

On the Fourth Day of Christmas...

On the Fourth Day of Christmas, Anodien gave to thee...

Reindeer Legolas and babies!

Yeah, this one doesn't really make sense at times... but just letting you know, I am posting between noon and 5:00, so it's a set time.

---------

ANODIENPOV

What the absolute... I hadn't expected him to actually do it!

I'd always thought of Thranduil as a noble Elf, always very... proper and uptight, yet here he was, Royal King of Mirkwood, in a Santa suit. Thranduil laughed heartily and adjusted his hat, the little while pom-pom at the end wiggling around.

"Why are you... what is... how..." Legolas stuttered.

"Oh, it's nothing, my son." Thranduil seemed to notice our stunned faces. Well, Legolas' face at least. Who wouldn't? Ah!! Brain, shut up, shut up! Reader, would you mind throwing a book at my face? I promise I won't kill you...

"Oh, and my dear..." The King of Mirkwood turned to me, pausing.

"Anodien, your Majesty." I definitely wasn't one for courtesy- if people wanted respect from me, they had to earn it- but he was an important Elf, and very powerful.

"Ah! Your wonderful suggestion for my attire inspired me to have another created- for my boy, here." I covered my mouth to prevent it- and failed. Through my hands, my laugh sounded like a choking donkey. This outfit was way worse than than the shirt I was wearing against my will. I burst into full laughter, my sides heaving as I gasped for air.

"Aww, how sweet! Go on, Legolas, put it on, you don't want to upset daddy, who so kindly had this made for you!"

"I hate you, Anodien." He growled and snatched the suit. I knew he didn't mean that, but faked offense.

"Legolas, I thought you merely disliked me, but now it's on to hate?" I stuck my lip out and pouted, crossing my arms.

"Well, the truth comes out." He stalked away, mumbling under his breath about 'stupid Christmas' and his plans to 'take out Santa'.

"And then there were two..." Thranduil smiled a bit as I spoke in an evil-sounding tone.

"I cannot believe I agreed to come in this." The Elven King remarked, pulling at the massive black belt. "I look ridiculous."

"Yes, you do." I agreed. "But not as ridiculous as that!"

Legolas stumbled out of the halls, and I almost thought that Rudolph was coming to kill me- which he probably was.

It was a large brown full-body suit with a white belly and antlers at the top. The arms and legs ended in cloven hooves and at the very back was a fluffy tail. He was a reindeer.

"Hold on, you're missing something!" I ran up to Legolas and waved my hand over his face. The massive blush over his face reddened considerably, and I moved it to his nose.

"Merry Christmas, Rudolph!" I cracked up at the very epitome of 'Bah, Humbug!'.

"I swear, I'm going to get you for this!" He threatened.

"Yeah... I don't think so."

"Elves and Men of Rivendell! Gather around for the gift exchange!" I turned around and see Elrond beckoning us over. Perfect! I'd been waiting for this!

The crowd of people huddled around the old Elf and began whispering.

"Please, go to your rooms and get your gifts! We will begin the festivities once you all have returned!" Everyone began to walk away, and I snuck away to make sure my gift was still there. I grinned and hid the present once more, excited for the exchange. Once the people returned, the brightly-colored packages were changing hands. I didn't keep track of everything, but Thranduil got a box of cinnamon cookies, Elrond received a little hat with bells, and even my father opened a present and found a small figure of a reindeer. I see Legolas looking over at him, both proud and embarrassed. He must have realized the irony, now.

Another Elf came forward and handed a bag to me. Unwrapping it, I saw a book I'd been wanting recently.

"Have all the gifts been taken?" Elrond called out, munching away on his cookies. Everyone began nodding their heads while Legolas sat down sadly. It was then that I saw my chance.

"No! I still have one more to give!" I announced, holding up the box. The idiot Elf with perfect hair's eyes lit up. "This one's for Legolas!" All eyes were on Legolas, taking in the ridiculous getup.

"What in heaven's name are you wearing?" Elrond asked in shock.

"Oh, I gave it to him. Suits him well, don't you think?" Thranduil smirked, enjoying the look of rage and embarrassment on his son's face. Legolas avoided eye contact with everyone in the room and took the gift. I could barely keep in my excitement. I was getting him back for the sweater.

When Legolas opened the box, I burst into that little window of opportunity.

"I know you kept asking around for it, and when I saw it in Bree the other day, I knew it was perfect!"

"Mama... Are you my mama?" Legolas lifted out a baby doll which I'd enchanted to make it speak. I called it 'Baby Alive.' Ripples of laughter rang around the room as he held up the creepy thing.

Legolas growled, his face becoming a brilliant shade of red that had never been seen before. He reached for something behind him, and while he was distracted, I stretched out my hand and tapped his nose. The blonde-haired Elf squinted at the flashing light below his eyes and finally managed to figure out what happened.

"Why you little-" Legolas lunged for me, reaching for my neck. "This is the last straw!" He roared. I easily sidestepped and darted away, skipping around him.

"I'd have caught you if I didn't have this impossible suit on!" Legolas panted. "It really impairs my mobility!"

"Excuses, excuses!" I sang merrily, evading his grip. I squeaked and fell as Thranduil suddenly pushed me towards the garishly dressed (and furious) Legolas.

"Gotcha!" He shouts and attacks my neck. And by attack, I mean tickling to all holy Helm's Deep.

"St... stop!" I began gasping for breath as I laughed. "I'll make venison out of you!"

"Well, you're not in much of a position to defend yourself, now are you?"

"You forget, Legolas- I always have a trick up my sleeve!" Muttering quickly in Elvish, I cast the spell and disappeared into smoke.

"Seriously, Anodien? No fair!" He wailed, pulling at his antlers. Moving quickly, my body reformed over near a pillar and I noticed something... odd.

There was not a single sound in the room. Every single eye was turned towards us

I cursed under my breath. My cloak had also ripped off, exposing the I <3 LEGOLAS shirt.

----------

A/N: It really can't get any more embarrassing than that... again, sorry for the late post, I swear by my bow (and Legolas' hair) that I will post by 5:00 tomorrow! D: And if you didn't know, that's pretty frickin' serious. I mean, his hair, well... GAH! JUST KILL ME NOW!!!