Wildfire (A Katy Perry and John Mayer FanFiction)

Chasing Cars

I had just gotten a call, a call that would forever change me. This could go two ways, and I wasn't ready to let go of one of my favorite people. I couldn't, not now. My life was already descending in unhappiness, and the last thing I needed in my life right now was to get more tragic news, the worst kind of news you could get, that someone who you are so close to, is very ill or is gone. I just couldn't handle the pain of this abrupt news.

"What's wrong, Kate?" John asked, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I quickly turned around, pushing his hands off of me and looking out the window, displaying a dull, foggy sky. Everything to me was just dark; blurry and muted. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be by myself.

"Ann is sick." The words escaped from my lips so lowly and sad. I knew I wasn't me. This wasn't who I was. It's almost as if I had lost everything. Nothing was going my way and I was on a never ending roller coaster. I wanted to fix everything but everything was out of control. I couldn't control that I couldn't have children or that my grandmother was sick. If only I could...

"I need to leave right now. Book me a ticket please." I said, running upstairs to pack my bags. I needed to go to Vegas now. I didn't care if I was in a very dark position right now, I had to go see one of my favorite people who I loved dearly, I couldn't lay here and let my grandmother only get sick because of my pity.

"Kate don't you think you should wait a little bit?" He asked, concerned. I stopped and turned around, wondering why he would ask such a question. At this point everything was making me upset. My life was becoming this big shit show. I was fucking sick of it.

I didn't answer him. I stood there and swallowed the huge lump in my throat. It's like I couldn't fucking breathe. "Just- please John." I said through my teeth, a tear escaping my eye. I was in so much mental and emotional pain. I didn't feel like doing anything. I felt like a broken glass that could never be put back together. Nothing could fix me. John couldn't, I couldn't. The only thing that could repair me was time, and even that couldn't fully fix me.

I went upstairs and stuffed my bag with clothes and my other belongings; anything that would hold me over for a few nights. This trip would be hard for me. Seeing my grandmother sick is hard enough, never mind the other news that I've gotten lately.

Her health is clearly more important and I needed to go see her, and pray that I wasn't going to lose her. I always thought she would be there for my children; she saw me get married to the man I thought was the love of my life, and I'm grateful for that. She deserved to see that I had fallen in love.

When I got done packing, I laid down on the bed curled up in a ball. I laid there and thought about everything. How downhill my life was going and how I couldn't do anything to fix it. It was getting to the point where I had felt so bad for John. He shouldn't have to put up with me and my ridiculous problems that went along with me. But he was still here and I guess that's all that mattered, that he still bothers to deal with such a depressed and unhappy lady, who he thankfully still wants to put up with and loves.

"I b-booked your ticket. I--uh... can drive you to the airport now if you want." He said to me in the doorframe, his tall figure a blur to me as I looked down at my fingers, still and lifeless looking. I was trying to contain myself from the small episode I just had, I really didn't want John to worry about me even more than he should. He doesn't deserve my problems and tears to be thrown on him, they were mine and I had to figure them out myself.

"Okay." I said back weakly, my body not even strong enough to get up from the bed. I hadn't eaten or showered in days, I was a complete mess.

"Come on." He whispered, helping my fragile body sit up. He put my socks and moccasins on, looking up at me occasionally. Right now I couldn't even give him a fake smile. I had nothing in me; no emotion, no energy. Nothing.