cuffed • g.d

1.

      What is it about life that everyone is preaching about? Everyone says that your life is so precious, so you should hold it close to your heart, but if it is so damn precious, why do I get the feeling if it was ripped away from me I wouldn't mind?
These deep thoughts rattled in my brain as I lay in the bathtub, water so hot I saw the steam run off of my body and into the air above me. I closed my eyes and went under. It was so silent, I could hear my heart beating. thump.. thump.. thump.... thump. a rhythm that was so satisfying but I craved for it to stop, I could feel it beating faster as my body waiting for me to inhale the oxygen it so badly needed. THUMP THUMP THUMP, my heart was going to burst if I didn't take a breath soon but still I lay there. I could feel my body tense up I was almost to the point of no return until I heard banging on the door.
"Dad says it's time to get out and eat."
I rose out from underneath gasping for air breathing in and out I could feel my heart start to beat slower to its regular rhythm.

      I head downstairs to see my sister and dad waiting for me.
"Look who decided to join us.." My dad cackled as he took a shot of whiskey. I roll my eyes and sat beside my sister who was drowning herself in makeup, I could already tell she had plans for tonight, she always does. It's either out partying doing drugs or having sex with the first boy who makes eye contact with her. disgusting.
       I play with my noodles as I try to imagine how my family would have reacted if they found out that I literally just tried to kill myself. I look up at my dad who is refilling his bottle with whiskey and my sister who's adjusting her chest making it pop out of her shirt. And me thinking about another way to drift away from this planet.
    "A drunk, a slut, and a suicidal teen. What a fucking family picture"
I thought.