cuffed • g.d

8.

the sting of his slap lingered for a couple seconds before slowly fading. He had never hit me before, I was in shock but at the same time I knew I had it coming. Every time I mention mom he lashes out.

I rub my cheek and look him in his eyes. I wanted him to see the pain he has put me through all these years through my eyes. But when I looked into his eyes I just saw bloodshot alcoholic who takes his anger out by drinking and beating on the only family he has left.

He rubbed his face and sighed.
"Taya, I'm sorry. You know how I get when yo-"
"Enough." I interrupt him. My eyes began to get blurry as they start to water up. I went back upstairs into my room and cried until all my tears were gone. I hate everything. I miss my mom. I miss my life. I miss the love that was giving to me. My mind was a stuttering mess bringing up all the things I once had but they now have left me.

I go to the bathroom to wash off the dried up tears and snot that were on my face. The cold water healed the stinging that lay on my face from his slap. I felt the water drop down my face and when I opened my eyes and saw the mirror all I saw was disgust. You're nothing to no one. All you do is hold people back. Die. Just die. No one would miss you and YOU KNOW THAT!

I began to fill the bathtub with warm water. I might as well finished what I started last night. It started to fill to the top and I turned the faucet. The steam running off the top was so satisfying. I took off the dusty clothes that reeked of the pain and disgust I felt.

I put my feet into the water to adjust to the heat, the warmth comforted me and I slide in. I take some time to think: the good memories, the bad memories. I thought about it all. I wished them all a good farewell, I close my eyes right and go under.