cuffed • g.d

34.

I was latched onto Graysons arm the entire way to the hospital, I saw Lani look at us through the rear view mirror and she decides to comment, "So, are y'all dating or-" she keeps eyeing us and the road repeatedly waiting for a response. Me and Grayson looked at each other. We hadn't really ever defined our relationship because it was complicated, but at that moment it was clear. "Yeah-" Graysons says proudly, "We are." My cheeks got hot. Lani smiles and teases us, "oooOoooOoh okay I see y'all."
I giggled and roll my eyes as I punch her shoulder softly.

When we arrived at the hospital everything was pale and gloomy as if reality had shifted into a dramatic scene in a movie. I inhaled deep, sad that this was my reality. We walked in with the smells of vaccines and wipes attacking our noses. The white walls were plain and quiet everyone doing their daily duties as routine. Lani steps to the desk adjusting her chest as she approached the cute male nurse with a name tag the read 'Zach'. She licked her teeth and began to talk, "hey.." she says seductively quiet. "We're here for visitation of our father."
As Lani did her attempts of flirting I sat next to Grayson still latched into his arms. He tilted his head back until it lay on the wall. For some odd reason I got satisfaction looking at him. Remembering how he was once this mystery I so desperately needed to solve, and I did. And sitting there with him by my side intertwined with one another I knew it was my biggest accomplishment.

Lani waved for me to follow her as Zach lead the way to our fathers room. I nod and rose from my seat, I let Grayson go but he grabbed me again and got up with me. "I'm going with you." He confirms. I scoff at him and gave him a reality check, "Gray, he literally wants to kill you. I think you should wait out here." I laugh trying to pull his firm grip off my hand but he wouldn't budge. He gave me this I'm not letting go look and that's when I gave in. I roll my eyes. "Fine." He laughs and we jog closely behind Lani just in time to hear what Zach had to say he cleared his throat, "We were finally able to calm him down. We gave him some drugs that made him drowsy so you can't be in there long." We all nod. Lani bit her lips and eyes him, "yeah Tay, you can go in first I'll be waiting out here figuring out a way to thank Mr. Zachary for helping us." She says seductive making her way towards him. I try to get away from that hoe show asap so me and gray walk in. I signal gray to stand by the door while I sit in the visitors chair beside his bed.

Dads body was facing the window, we could hear the faint chirps of the birds and cars honking. Other from that the room was quiet and white and the only pop of color was the pink blanket that lay on my dads back. When I sat in the chair our eyes met and the silence still lingered. I look at Grayson who's arms were folded and all his body weight seemed to be on one foot. He mouths talk to him subtly. I nod and spoke, "hey dad, you okay?" I say soft touching his fading hair. he said something but I couldn't hear him he was fainting away from the sleeping medicine but managed to say it again a little more clearer. "t-this is all your fault. e-every fucking bit was all on you." He licked his dry lips and continued. "when you were born my marriage fell apart, i had no money because I had spent it all on necessities for you as a baby, you're a constant reminder of your mother, the stress you caused drove me to drink, you got me on house arrest, you sneak around with a boy, you left me worried sick constantly about you which brought me here. It's all your fault." He stopped looking at me and looked out the window, blinking slow.

My throat was clogging up I could feel the tears forming. my heart hurt, I didn't try to cause so much pain I didn't mean any of it. I pull on the edge of my sleeve to create some sort of tissue to wipe tears. He looked at me and laughed dryly. "stop-stop crying. it's not just you some of it is that slut of a daughter Lani. i wanted a son but no, i got a skank bitch and a sucidal manic." My stomach dropped.
"how did you know I was-"
"please, parents know everything. I knew all your little attempts, the bath tub, the bridge, the cuts, everything!"
At this point I was balling and I stood up. "Why didn't you stop me??!" I yelled.
"I thought one of these days you'd actually do it and I could have some money in the fucking bank. sell your clothes and your items and finally have enough to move. but each time you would always came back, you never just fucking did it." He finishes. By then I collapsed on the floor sobbing, I couldn't breathe. Grayson barges in and starts a riot.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! That is your fucking daughter how could you be so damn heartless, you're a shit of a man and it's not the damn disease that messed you up it's you're selfishness! You're a vile human and deserve to suffer alone and you will!" Grayson was standing at the foot of dads bed squeezing the end of it trying to stop himself from hitting him. My dad looked at him a sighed.

"look at her. Shes crying on the floor because she's sad of the truth. get over it the world is ugly, people are ugly and she's one of them, the kind of people who believe fantasy is their reality because they can't face truth. she needs to learn to grown up and stop being one of the ugly people."
I cried harder at his remark.

By then Grayson was heated and started to get louder, "ugly human? SHE IS NOT AN UGLY HUMAN! She is Art. What the fuck do you expect from her, other than confusion, beauty and a goddamn soul?!"