cuffed • g.d

29.

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling listening to music that matched my mood, which was usually chill and sad but not tonight. Tonight I listened to music about anger and heartbreak. I thump my stomach with my thumbs to the beat of the song, while the rest of my body lay frozen. Suddenly I let my mind drift away I closed my eyes, the music took me over and I was free. Moments later I felt a cold breeze attack my leg as if my window had been opened, I open my eyes and lift my neck to see what it was and it was a strange figure and then all of a sudden there was a rush of movement and then a hand covered my mouth and a firm "shh" leaving his lips. I make eye contact and it was Grayson. I sit up quick and slapped him.

"Grayson what the hell?!" I loudly whisper very superstitious my dad was going to walk in. Gray laughed. "I just wanted to see you." He smiles and groans as he sits down next to me, which made it obvious he was still in some pain. "I am way better now, we got some medication that helps pain so I'm almost 100% again." He says smiling at me. I smile back still eyeing the door in case someone were to walk in. His hand reached for my chin and pulled me closer and he kissed me, a real kiss. Part of me went along with his affection while the other felt as if I had kissed a stranger.

When our lips parted we stared at each other and, once again, kissed. But this time it was more passionate more intense. He grabbed the back of my head and kissed harder, I grabbed his waist. Suddenly he moves down gently kissing my neck,I didn't know how to feel about it but I went along. I let out a gentle moan and grabbed the back of his neck as his hot kisses crushed against my neck. He slowly lays me down and I could feel my heart beat faster as he continued to kiss my body. He stopped kissing for a moment to take of his shirt and in that moment I couldn't really believe this was happening I started to breathe quickly. My breathing slowed down once he kissed my lips, another heated intense kiss. He slowly put his hand up my shirt and his warmth tingled my body but I was uncomfortable. He grabbed my hands and pinned them down still kissing me and suddenly this scene was too familiar and I began to freak and and breathed uncontrollably, and when I saw him on top of me all I could see and think of was Ethan.

I sat up fast, "Get off me!" And pushed him to the side. He rolled off and looked at me confused but seeing the look on my face he understood. He raised his eyebrows and lightly spoke, "I'm sorry I shouldn't hav- I should have realized you weren't ready ever since that incident." He grabbed me by the hand but I pulled away and stood up facing him as his stay sitting on the bed. "It's not just about the Ethan incident, it's you too." I confess fiddling my thumbs. He frowned and shook his head, "what do you mean?" He begins to look where he had threw his shirt to go put it on. "I want to trust you but-"
"But what?" He interrupted.
"Grayson what do you do with Jake that was so horrible no one can tell me."

He put his shirt on slowly and sighed. He began to speak but he couldn't find the right words. He licked his lips and sat back down on the bed contemplating whether or not to explain. "I- I don't want you to think of me different Taya because I'm not that monster any more and I would never do anything like this to you and any one else EVER." He starts to build up. I tip toed toward him and sat by his side as he stared at the floor ashamed of what he was about to admit. He folds his hands together and exhales nervous. "I- well, you know, was addicted to drugs and I couldn't afford to keep paying for them constantly and since Jake was my best friend, he told me I wouldn't have to pay him with money but with..." he stopped and shut his eyes. "But with girls, we had this system where I would find a beautiful girl and get her to like me enough to go places with me and do what I wanted. Once I got her to fall in love with me and she would do anything for me, I would ask her to meet with Jake and once I got them together I would give him the girl and take the drugs and leave.. and he would- he would have sex with her."

I was in shock my heart and mind were racing, I had no idea who he was. "Did he- was she- raped by him?" Was the only thing I could manage to ask. He shrugged. "I don't know I would leave and never see the girl again." I could tell Grayson had trouble looking me in the eyes. I felt the tears built up because I know what it's like to be in a situation where a man takes advantage of you and Grayson put girls in that situation. I suck in my tears, lick my lips and look Grayson deep in his eyes.

"Get out."