cuffed • g.d

15.

  I was so embarrassed. I heard laughs and snicker as I walked out the gate. I tried my best to swallow my tears but they always over power me. I make my way back home trying to dry my tears before I get questioned about 'what's wrong?' because it's hard to answer that. It be shorter to answer what was righty in my life: nothing.

I've never hated myself more than I did right at that moment. He was right. I became so obsessed because I never thought anyone cared about me. And when I found out he did and he tried to save me I wanted to have that to hold on to, that hope the I was worth it because he seemed to think I was worth saving but than again he probably would have saved any girl in that situation. Fucking delusional.

I walk inside and everything was silent. Lani must have been out partying or with some guy and dad must have been asleep. I creeped inside to see who might be here and there was dad on the couch with Lani. I guess when they heard the door open they got silent. I approached then cautiously and sat beside dad. Lani had been crying, I could see the marks from the tears. either dad hit her or verbally abused her. "T, I'm moving out." She announces. I went mute. Why does everyone leave? This day just keeps getting worse.

"Wh-why?" I ask braking my silence, getting out of my seat and siting next to her.
"I can't be here anymore, not living like this, with him. Reily said I can move in with her. Im 19 and i can't start my life getting held back by some old prick." She snarks. Dad just sat there glaring. "You can visit if you want. Anytime you want to T. I just finished taking some of my boxes to Reily's. I'm leaving tonight." She rubs the tear I didn't even know was there, off my face. The room was silent except the constant beeps from dads bracelet.

"When I was telling all the stories about dad to the CPS it opened my eyes. It's the right decision. I love you I always have and I always will." She says kissing my forehead. She headed upstairs to go get more boxes to put in the car. "Stop crying Tay, you should have know she would leave, just like your mother." Dad barks out. He gets up to go get himself a soda. I just sat there like I was frozen. My life was falling apart slowly and there was no one to help me put it back together. I was alone. But then again I always was.

---------- NIGHT TIME--------

My pillow was soaked, all the tears that ran away from my eye found a home on my pillow turning it from a nice red to a deep burgundy. Everything was getting worse and worse for me and I just wanted it to end. So I did. I knew the bathtub wasn't going to work, something always prevented me from completing my "mission". I needed something there was no backing out from, there was no chickening out of. Then the idea popped into me head. I tip toed downstairs, grabbed my jacket and was on my way.

I got lost a couple of times but I found my way eventually, by then it way 9:00 at night. I reached my destination. Perron Baker  Bridge.