Warning!
This is a book for the open-minded only!
If you feel that you already know all about the mysteries of our existence, your view of life is set and you would like to keep it this way, then this book is not meant for you. Don't bother reading...
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I have always had an instinct for doing new things. Call it good or bad, I love to experiment.
- Ravi Shankar
Next Saturday, Dad gave me a ride to the Café in Neumarkt.
Having briefly kissed my indulgent parent good-bye on his cheek - careful to evade his scratchy, black beard – I was on my way into the building.
I forcefully pushed one of the big, round metal handles of the two parts glass-door. The heavy contraption hardly moved, but the gap that had opened between the two panels was just wide enough for me to squeeze through.
Puh, they should really oil the hinges, or something!
As soon as I stepped into the not too brightly lit room a few teenagers, sitting around the tables closest to the entrance, looked up.
They briefly gazed at me, before turning their attention back to the conversation they were having.
I suddenly felt uncomfortably self-conscious. I briefly wondered how my outfit - consisting of a turquoise, sleeveless shirt, combined with a matching, long, uneven skirt and a thick, black belt - might look to them. My black flats they would not be able to see, as there was not enough space. I tried to move naturally through the narrow aisle between the crowded tables and the counter, but my effort proved to be unexpectedly difficult.
The more I tried to appear casual and relaxed while proceeding towards my friends - who were unfortunately sitting all the way in the back as usual - the more rigid my movements became.
Very strange. After all, I did not really care what all these people around me were thinking.
I concentrated on the feeling of my limbs more intently, trying to understand what was happening. Only to worsen the awkwardness I was experiencing.
"Umph. I am so sorry!" I apologized to the boy I had just jostled in his high back wooden chair, facing away from me. I could feel the heat rising in my face.
Startled, he twisted in his seat, looking me quickly up and down. "It's okay," he mumbled, turning back to his friends.
During our brief encounter, I had tried to smile at him apologetically. For some reason, however, it had not worked quite the way I had wanted. Somehow, my facial features had refused to obey me and my would-be smile had turned out to be more of a grimace, than anything else.
Confused, I hurried on, while trying to appear relaxed.
The more I focus on acting naturally, the more difficult it seems to become, I mused. That's probably because I am watching myself too carefully. . . how I wish I could sometimes just let go completely and be free of my constant self-observation!
Booming laughter greeted me as I approached the small group of boys, causing quite a few people in the room to turn their heads and stare at them.
Again, I felt myself blush a bit with embarrassment. At that moment, I was not particularly proud to be heading towards my friends, who were clearly a source of annoyance for some of the patrons of the café.
