Denial

Chapter 10

"Good morning." Louis chimed as I groggily walked into the kitchen and sat down at the bar.

As stupid as it sounds, I had been reliving the night before a thousand times in my head. I actually had fun, like real enjoyment. And I was happy knowing I got to tell nobody that Edward was my boyfriend. There was still a voice in the back of my head saying it wouldn't work out and that I should give up before I got hurt. No matter how hard I tried, it always seemed to pop up at the worst times, making me unsure of myself.

"How'd you sleep, Soph?" Niall asked me as he plopped down next to me. He was sloppily presented and did not smell like a superstar should. I still wasn't 'besties' with the boys again and I preferred to not speak to them. I also preferred for them to not call me Soph. Everything was still a bit awkward and it didn't seem like it would go away any time soon.

"Okay." I replied quietly. I bet I confused them a lot; I mean I confused my own self. I was so brash and loud all the time, yet so quite when I didn't feel like slapping everyone around me.

Grabbing a box of cereal, I distracted myself with my usual breakfast. I ate quickly, as always, and rushed out of the kitchen.

"You're not going to say anything?" I heard Harry scorn to someone after I passed through the doorway.

"Fine, Sophie! Can you come back in here?" I heard Liam shout a little too loudly, for I was only ten feet away.

"No need to shout," I replied as I walked back into the room that was a bit smaller than my bedroom. "What do you want?"

"I don't think Edward is a good person to be dating. I think you should maybe stop seeing him." Liam was forcing the words out of his lips as if he were scared of my reaction. He was right to be scared of me.

"Why?! He's no different from me." I retorted with an annoyed look on my face.

"Well, Sophie, he's-he's not, what I'm trying to say is-" Liam was definitely staling to give himself some time to come up with a decent explanation, but Harry beat him to it.

"He's a dick. And he's nothing like you." Harry said with crossed arms and a stern tone.

"You must be blind, and deaf, because we are a lot alike." I snapped with a little too much sass. "He's not who you believe he is." I whispered looking down, yet they heard me quite clearly.

"Sophie, I don't like the idea of you dating Harry's younger brother. So, you're going to have to stop seeing him or there will be consequences." Liam instructed with a sudden burst of courage.

"You're all complete and utter idiots! Are you seriously going against everything that you're suppose to teach me, such as 'don't judge a book by it's cover.'" I was starting to raise my voice uncontrollably, a bad habit of mine.

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. Plus, we all know Edward isn't the nicest kid on the block and that he gets into trouble." Liam defended his irrational choices. All I wanted to do was strangle each and every one of them. Before the accident, when I didn't push away my emotions, I was never good at handling frustration. Every time I would get even a bit frustrated I would cry. It was out of my control and it always happened at the worst times, such as in the middle of a test, or a class, or an argument in which I had strong beliefs.

"Just give up, Sophie. He isn't worth your time." Harry insisted as my vision went blurry. A single tear fell from my eyes unwilling and they all saw it fall. I wiped it away furiously, hoping they wouldn't say anything about it.

"I'm sorry if we're frustrating you. I just can't let you get involved with a guy who is obivously a bad influence." Liam said as he took a sympathetic step towards me. As always, I took a step back from the five pairs of eyes on me. Liam knew all of my quirky habits and emotional reactions, for he had watched me grow up. I was determined to not let any more tears fall.

"I think you guys should talk this out." Niall said from his still seated position. The boys got up and followed Niall out the other side of the huge kitchen. Harry was a little reluctant to leave, but thank God he did. It was time for some intense guilt tripping. Liam moved to sit down on a bar stool and motioned for me to sit also. I accepted the offer and thought of how I should structure my plan.

"Liam do you not remeber the boy who saved me that night. Because he is still the same boy that I like. Edward was the one who I could talk to, about anything. He kept me from going insane and stopped me when I did go insane." It sickened me to be talking about my true feelings with Liam, but I had no choice. I had to guilt him somehow.

"But, he still has a reputation with getting into trouble, especially with girls, Sophie. I don't want him to use you and then just throw you aside." I could tell it was going to take a lot more to get him on board of this ship.

"Liam, Edward is basically the one who brought us together, closer than ever!" I said with fake happiness. "If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I would probably be screaming at you, or ignoring you. So, give him a chance. I love drama as much as the next girl, but I really don't want any problems with this. I really like him and he makes me happy. Can't you see that?" I liked to think that I had adequate acting skills. They were apparently enough to convince Liam.

"Ok, I give you permission to date Edward, but you will have to be careful and let me know when you're going out with him." Liam sighed in surrender and I felt a weight being taken off my shoulders. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to change for a guy. Just because Edward dresses like he does, it doesn't mean you have to too."

His words ignited a small flame in the back of my mind. I dressed like this because I wanted. I didn't even dress that weirdly; I just wore a lot of dark colors, unlike my old wardrobe of frilly and floral dresses. Liam thinks I'm turning into a goth or a straight on punk, but I was far from one of those categories. All of them think I've changed into something that isn't me, when I've never felt more at home in my own skin. They all want me to 'go back to normal' when I was never 'normal' to begin with. No one is normal. Normal doesn't exist, but those idiots wouldn't know that.

"I'm going to clear this up, once and for all." I said through slightly gritted teeth. "I am never going back to being that girl I was two months ago. This is me now, and I like the new me! So, please tell everyone that I'm not going to 'go back to normal' for you when this is who I feel comfortable being." I calmed myself down, so I could make my point clear as day.

"I get it. It's good that you are exploring and finding what suits you. No matter what clothes you wear or how much makeup you put on, you will always be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." Liam was the perfect big brother and I hated to admit it, but I loved him to death. His words made all of my anger drain out of me and I felt ok again.

"Thanks, Liam." I said before he reached out and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged back, so I wouldn't feel bad about it later. I pulled away and left him to realize what he had just done. He had just given me permission to date a guy who probably had a police record. Good job, Liam. I knew he wouldn't be happy with himself or us for a while, but he would come around.

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Well...good luck Eddie.

Tell me what you think.

Xoxo - S