From Time 2 Time||Lesbian Story

Eighteen

"I miss you, I don't expect you to forgive me and I don't expect you to want to come home either. Betraying your trust was one of the worst things that I could do, I felt insecure and ignored and I acted off of those emotions. This relationship means everything to me and I just—I don't know I want to prove that I can be different. And above all I miss my child you can hurt me all you want but please don't bring Bell into this."

Somehow, Mya tricked me into talking to her over lunch. She had tears in her eyes, til today that shit hurts me I hate seeing her cry. I could tell she meant what she was saying.

"I believe you." I paused to look down at my half eaten food, more so to gather my voice before it cracked. I felt tears form in my eyes and I decided that I should just speak.

"But, it's not enough Mya. I mean I'm still angry so I don't forgive you. And I'm sorry for taking Bell but you really hurt me. If I do move back in we will have to WORK and work hard on us. On our relationship, I want to make you my wife but I don't trust you Mya."

Tears had been falling by this point, so I just wiped my eyes, and stood up. "We can talk later I'm just still upset."

----
Cita

Jelani parked outside our house and Kayla and I went downstairs to greet her. "Ma is here! Ma is here!" Kayla swung the door and ran to Jelani. She picked Kayla up in a tight hug kissing her cheeks.

After a few moments together Jelani sat her down and made her way to Me. Just the sight of her brought tears to my eyes, how someone so beautiful could hurt me so bad. Everything was still clean about her, her suit, her bun, her walk—everything.

She just dropped her bags at my feet, and stared at me with glassy eyes. This silence spoke loudly, so loudly it could blur windows and shake floors. We had a whole conversation through eye contact. A single tear fell off her face as she spoke, " Can I hug you?" She asked.

And all I could manage was a nod. The way she wrapped her arms around just does something to me.

"You have to make this up to me." I noted.

--

Our room was silent no one said a word for about a solid hour. Jelani just sat on the couch in our room, with her head down and her legs shaking.

"I'm sorry ok." Her voice was loud due to it being so sudden and the cry stuck in her throat. She got on her knees crawling towards me and laid her head in my lap. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I'm sorry. Please give me a chance please,baby. I need you—you're my world I don't know how to live without you." There was no doubt in my mind that she wasn't sorry. I just need to be able to move past being hurt. It's like someone stepping on your toe and they really didn't mean too, they say sorry and you accept it but it doesn't stop your toe from hurting.

"I understand baby but you really hurt me, and you hurt your cousin —that's your blood. I'm going to move past this but it won't be today or tomorrow or three weeks from now but that's why we are married we have the rest of our lives to forgive and forget and get over shit, I'm just not over it yet."