Hold On Til May ~Kellic~

~~13~~

The next day when I woke up, I was happy to see Kellin right there next to me. I smiled and moved some of his hair out if his face and behind his ear. He shifted around a little, but he didn't wake up, he just moved closer to me....if that was even possible seeing as he was almost laying right on top of me.

He eventually did move so that he was laying on top of me, but I didn't mind. I just wrapped one arm around his back and I ran my fingers through his hair with the other. He looked so cute when he was sleeping. I sighed in content, even though I was pretty much being crushed beneath Kellin, I was still happy.

"V-Vic~" I heard Kellin say as he shifted around. I gasped and blushed as he grinded his hips on mine, I had grabbed his hips after he did that. He immediately shot up and looked down at me with a blush on his face. "I-I'm s-s-so s-sor-ry, I-I didn't...I didn't m-mean t-t-to." Just then the door opened and we both looked over and saw Mike and Tony.

"What's this?" Mike asked us as he raised his eyebrow at Kellin and I with a chuckle. Tony did the same thing, I mean, who wouldn't, Kellin was sitting on top of me and I was holding onto his hips.

"Nothing, Kellin just woke up." I said trying to contain my blush.

"Mhmm sure, I know what Kellin looks like when he wakes up, don't lie." Tony said.

"I'm not, that's the truth."

"Whatever, we'll leave you guys to it." Mike said as he closed my door. Kellin tried to get off of me quickly but he ended up with us both tangled in the sheets. I went to roll over, not realizing how close we were to the edge, and we ended up falling off the bed and onto the floor.

"S-sorry." I said blushing with my hands on either side of his head as I looked down at him.

"Damn, that was smooth." I heard Mike say. Mine and Kellin's head snapped to where the door was and saw Mike and Tony, again.

"Fuck off guys, we weren't doing anything." I said angrily.

"Really, cause I don't believe that." Tony said.

"We weren't, now leave before I kick you guys in the ass."

"Are you really going to do that?" Mike asked.

"No, he's not, because I won't let him." Kellin said. "Now can you guys just help us get untangled, please?"

"Nope, we're going to go out, bye." Mike said before he dragged Tony away from us and slammed the front door.

"Jerks." I said. Kellin chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"It's just that you look so cute when you are angry, that and the position that we're in."

"Really, and sorry about that."

"Yes really, and don't worry about it." I smiled before leaning down to kiss him. He kissed me back and wrapped his arms around my neck. He pulled away and just looked at me. "We should probably get untangled before someone else sees us like this."

"Yeah, you're probably right." We both then somehow manage to get untangled from the sheets and stood up. "That was a lot easier to get out of than I thought."

"That's what he said." I face palmed.

"Kellin..."

"You should've seen that coming."

"That's what he said."

"Screw you Vic."

"You would."

"Vic, stop it."

"Make me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe." Just then I was tackled to the bed with Kellin on top of me and holding my wrist tightly. "Nuh uh, I'm top."

"Victor, stop it now."

"Y-you used my full name..." I never liked it when people used my full first name, it always terrified me because all I could ever see was my dad since that was his name. I somehow managed to push Kellin off of me and run to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. I tried to even out my breathing, but that didn't work out too well. 

I was also starting to scratch at my wrist because I felt like cutting. I needed it, but my mom and Mike never left any razors in the bathroom because of me, they didn't trust me. The scratching continued and I felt like my skin was staring to come off. I was scared, I heard someone pounding on the door but it stopped soon after.

"V-Vic...please come out of the bathroom, I told your mom what happened, and I'm sorry...I-I didn't know, she...she also told me about the cutting, Vic please come out of the bathroom." It was Kellin. It was then that I realized that my arm had started to bleed.

You're a freak, Kellin doesn't really like you, he's just being nice because he feels bad for you.

No, no, he does like me, he wouldn't do that to me.

"Vic...please open the door...you-you're scaring me with the silence." I immediately went to the door and unlocked it. Kellin immediately opened the door and looked at me. His eyes widened.

"K-Kellin...h-help m-m-me." I said as tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my face. Kellin grabbed a rag, got it wet, then came over to me and put it against my arm. I winced and tried to pull my arm away, but Kellin didn't let go.

"Vic, calm down, please." I only calmed down because I was scared that he was going to hurt me.

"I-I'm sorry..." I said quietly.

"Why are you sorry, you did nothing wrong."

"I promised Mike that I wouldn't cut once we moved to a new school, I-I broke that promise."

"If you tell him why you did, maybe he will understand. That, and you didn't actually cut, you just scratched your arm." Kellin said as he removed the rag and grabbed the first aid kit and bandaged up my arm.

"Thank you Kellin."

"You're welcome Vic, I'm sorry for calling you Victor."

"Its fine, you didn't know."

"I should've though."

"Kellin, don't worry about it okay, its not a big deal." Kellin sighed.

"Vic...I don't want any secrets between us, please tell me what you don't want me to know."

"I'm not strong Kellin, I may smile and laugh and talk, but it's all fake unless I'm with you. I'm trying to be strong Kellin, for you. When you didn't talk to me yesterday after we had dropped Justin and Jaime off, I felt like I did something wrong, or that you hated me.

"I self-harmed, I cry myself to sleep at night and I feel like I'm not good enough for you, that you deserve better than me, and I'm really scared to lose you, you mean everything to me. I would rather die saving you than to have you die because you are so much more important to me than I am to this world." I said looking at him. He didn't say anything, and that scared me.