Broken *ON HOLD SORRY*

Chapter 15:

AUTHER NOTE: I knoe I don't normally do these at the start, I'm sorry. I Just wanted to say If you see any mistakes what so ever just comment what it is coz I'm really bad at editing and I feel as if you guys desrve this update coz It's been forever!

Here's chapter 15! Enjoy!

Chapter 15: Facebook never lies, it says the blunt truth.

"The pain never goes away, you just learn how to live with it, and I think the best way to learn is if you see some and they teach you how to live with it. I don't think I would have found out how to live with it by myself."

His words echoed through my mind, and they just wouldn't go away. It's not like they would it really help, would they? I don't think so. I mean how can they know what I'm going through? It's not like they have been through what I'm going through. How can they help if they don't get it? It just doesn't seem right. And I don't want to express my feelings out loud to anyone... the only people I have ever done that to were Jess and Jack... one of which I killed and the other hates me for it. I can't believe he hates me, okay yes I can, but I swear it's like the worst feeling ever! Okay, I'm wrong again the worst feeling ever is, knowing you killed your best friend, or at least it is for me.

I sat there on the floor beside my bed for probably and hour or two just thinking, spacing out in an endless whirl of thoughts, till my phone went off, snapping me out of it. I had a notification from Facebook; Ida LivVe had tagged me in a post on Jason Kityfree's wall. I steered at the notification alert for a good five minutes dreading what was said, the hate it was bound to be, but why was it on Jason's wall? Finally I gave in to my curiosity and opened it.

I really wish I hadn't though. Like really, really wish I hadn't. It was a post showing a series of events. The post caption was, "Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." It was true, but it made me question why I was even looking at this nothing good could ever come out of this.

I looked at the photos with this feeling of dread, I didn't want to see them but it was almost as if I needed to. Opening the notification I saw four photos most of them dating back to when Jess was alive and I was "Queen Bee" we looked so happy, so fill of joy, you know that joy that I don't think I could ever feel again, not even scrap it. Then there was a picture of me and Jake the day before he dumped me he was giving me a hug and wishing good luck for a show I was singing in, raising money for depression awareness. It was a charity I donated to every year since I started high school in honor of my dad and all the depressed people in the world. It meant a lot to me, so every year at this convention I always sing and donate a large same of money. That year I donated the most I ever had before, a whopping 10,000 dollars. I know it might not seem like a lot coming from one of the richest families in America, but that was all from me. I fundraised $2,500 and worked for the rest in cafes and other jobs. I didn't once dip into the family money. I don't want to donate corrupt money; I want it to be working and meaningful money. Looking more closely at the photo it's so easy to see how Jake is hesitant towards me; he's face is so distant, like he's distracted and anxious, like he knows he's going to dump me. The there's me looking so lovingly at him; I truly did love the boy, he was my world and my life line, I told him so much, probably the same amount I told jess, different stuff but the same, stuff I would never tell anyone else.

The next photo was of a photo taken on my 16th birthday on the morning I came to school and all of my friends... okay all of my close friends aka; Jess Jake, Alec, Ida, Belle, and Connor rushed at me with party poppers, streams, party hats and party horns screaming happy birthday. It was so sweet, I love that photo, it showed all of us so happy and it showed our friendships. I loved it... to bad I don't have it anymore, and never could again. They all hate.