Broken *ON HOLD SORRY*

Chapter 4: School part 1

As I walked into the hallway, I looked down and tried (unsuccessfully) to make myself (former queen bee) invisible. I knew it would never work but I had to try anyways. So I try by slouching and ducking me head so I was only looking at people's shoes.

And I must say some people need to learn fashion, I mean seriously? Shocks and jandles are a serous no-no!!!

As you probable guessing my plain of becoming invisible fails miserably. As soon as I step inside it becomes dead silent. I can feel their steers burning my skin. I don't look up. I can't. I can't face them. The people who once looked up at me and idolized me. I don't think I can stay strong if I see their disgust on their faces. But then not looking up is a sign of weakness isn't it? I have to look up and show no sign of weakness don't I? *Sigh* Well here goes nothing... I wipe off all emotion on my face, something I have learned to master over the years. Being "queen bee" really takes a lot out of you. Believe me I know. Then there is my mother. I learned very young if you make her guilty you are going to regret it big time.

All emotion is off my face and I look up. Everything is silent as I step inside. Everyone is silent, you could hear a pin drop. They steered at me with disgust, horror and sadness like I was an alien or some other foreign object. I kept my head high. I know if I don't they will kill me, figuratively. They will swoop in the vultures and rip me apart. That's how horrible my school really is. Everyone knew it and I know that there a lot of people here who will try and hurt me beyond belief for I have hurt them in ways I am not proud of.

I kept walking even though all I want to do is run away and hide just like I did when mother and father use to fight. I don't though; I walk all the way to my locker without a crack in my mask of calmness and they believe it, I know they do. But that really didn't stop them steering at me waiting for me to creak. I don't show one sign of weakness to the outside world, when really I'm a mess inside.

Wondering why I have to keep this fake facade? Well, simply my school is horrid like a swarm of buzzards. If I show one small hint of weakness they will be on my like the animals they are. They will rip me open ad tear me apart. They are ruthless and pure evil. If I stay strong and collected, they want hurt me.

That's the rules to their evil-minded game. They will talk about me and spread rumors but they want say anything to my face. No, there is this unspoken law where only the weak get prayed on because it's their fault they can't handle the pressure. Where as the strong ones, they get to be bitched about and gossiped about behind their backs.

I don't know about you but personally I would rather be bitched about and gossiped about. At least then you can ignore it or pretend they aren't talking about you but someone else. I guess I'm kind of use to it. Sounds sad and all but when you're "Queen Bee" lots of people talk about you behind your back and trust me most of it isn't good talk.

As you know I use to be "Queen Bee" of this shitty school. Key word in that sentence is "use". Now things are different. My best guess is Ida has taken my place. You since my "second" almost equal is you know dead.

It's almost funny how fast things can change. You know funny in the sense that eight and a bit weeks ago everything was normal. Jess was still here, I practically ran this shitty school, there was no fucked up accident that killed around 12 people including my best friend. Yea it's funny how things change so quickly.

I finally got to my locker and got my books out. I could tell everyone is still steering at me because I had this weird feeling of pins staving me in the back and sides. Thank god I was facing me locker otherwise and they couldn't see me grimacing. It actually hurt, there steering that is.

I prolonged turning around again to face them by, fiddling with my iPhone and changed my music. It really didn't take long for me to realize that I have to turn around again. That and I have nothing more to do and if I wait any longer to turn around 'They' will think it a sign of weakness and attack me like vultures.