London

In Omnia Paratus

It's been eighteen days without Logan. Eighteen days have passed where I haven't had him on speed dial, ready to call at a moments notice for comfort and a listening ear. Damn Odette. I miss him a lot, especially today. Why does he have to be engaged and living with his fiancée? I suppressed those thoughts with a big gulp of coffee as I walked down the dark and empty streets of Stars Hollow. I felt eerie as I walked into the cracked doors of the dark Stars Hollow Gazette, like there were people around. "Hello? Is anyone here?" I whipped my head around to face Esther with a flashlight on her face. "In omnia paratus!" She exclaimed. I looked out the window to see three men in dark, elaborate suits and gorilla masks. "Well I'll be damned!" I ran outside to see the three boys I know and love, recognizable with or without their masks. "Colin, Finn, Robert, what brings you to the lovely town of Stars Hollow?"
They looked at each other as they pulled their masks off, their distinctive faces ageless. "We wanted to take you out," Finn said in his Australian accent. "I also don't like where we left off." I turned around to the voice behind me and stared in disbelief. Blonde hair. Brown eyes. A cocky smirk on his face. I smiled as I walked up to Logan Huntzberger, receiving a hat and cape in return. That began our wild night of drinking, tangos, and future investments, with more drinking on top of that. We escaped at the end of the night to an inn that Colin had recklessly bought in true Colin fashion. I stood in the common area in the Dragonfly-like inn, the effects of tequila and scotch taking their toll on my body. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to Logan holding a key. "Here you go, Ace. A room key." I took a step towards him, placing my hands on his chest. "And where's yours?" I asked, a smirk appearing on his face. "I didn't know where we stood when Colin bought the place, so right across the hall from your room." I closed the distance between us, leaving millimeters between my face and Logans. "Show me." I murmured as he took my hand and led me upstairs."
-
As soon as we got to his room I kissed him hard, and he responded back with an intense passion I had never seen much of before. We moved towards the bed as I pressed him against it, our kisses becoming fiercer by the second. I pushed his blazer off his shoulders as he ran his hands up and down my thighs, teasing at my waistline. Things escalated quickly and before I knew it we were laying in bed together, our bare sweaty bodies pressed up next to one another and we had done what I feared would happen, but I had let it happen anyways. I turned over on to my stomach and placed my head on his chest. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead, letting out a sigh showing that we'd had a mutual understanding about what we'd just done.
"Logan, we can't do this anymore." I whispered, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Yes we can. We'll figure it out." He replied in his husky, low voice. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut to try and make this feeling go away. This unwarranted familiar feeling of numbness.

"Odette. Logan, you're engaged-" my voice faltered as I finally let the tears loose. They landed on his warm chest as my back shook with silent sobs, all while he was still running his fingers through my hair. We had an agreement- what happens in Vegas. This wasn't supposed to happen! I wasn't supposed to fall in love all over again. Logans thumb met my chin as he pushed my chin up, locking my stark blue eyes with his brown ones, tears filling them at the sight of my sad face.

One expression tells all- I wasn't the only one who felt this way. That just made it so much worse. That set me back into my sobs again, Logan cupping my face with his worn hands and pulling me in for a delicate yet meaningful kiss. My breathing faltered as he kissed me like that, kiss after kiss, before I pulled away. I can't fall prey to this trap we're both getting ourselves into. I fixed my gaze on the fluffy duvet once made neatly on the bed, but was now strewn on the floor along with our clothes, the only thing covering us being a big brown Afghan. The tears never stopped falling, oh how I prayed they would stop so he wouldn't see how I feel.
Suddenly, Logan gripped both sides of my face and drew my gaze up to his. I stared him in the eye as he spoke his next words. "Ace, I love you. I've never stopped loving you." My breath hitched as I heard the feeling in those nine words. The guilt, the passion, the longing- all of which I couldn't have. But Logan just expressed all of the things I've been feeling with him. Rory, he's not yours. "Logan...", I responded, my voice hoarse from crying, my gaze still locked with his.
"Don't you dare say Odettes name. Odette doesn't matter. You're all that matters to me." Logans faltering deep tone just led me further into the trap. I closed my eyes as I spoke my next words, choosing them carefully as not to repeat my last mistake.
"Logan, you're engaged. I love you, but that's unfair. I can't take you away from Odette. As much as I wish you were mine and mine only, we both know this can't keep happening." I thought I wanted him to shut me up. To tell me I'm right, to leave me in bed alone so I wouldn't have to be a home wrecker. But he did the complete opposite. He looked at me. This was the end for us. "Just tonight, Ace. Please." I sat up so I was staring down at his face and kissed him. Soft at first, then eventually harder and harder. We laid there, kissing, hoping this night would never end.
-
I woke up the next morning in the same position I fell asleep in last night- my head on Logans warm, familiar chest. Last night. Logan. I forced my eyes shut to try and block out the memories of last night, specifically the conclusion we came to. Apparently I wasn't the only one up, I realized, as I felt Logan stir a little beneath me. "Morning, Ace." Logans alcohol tainted breath was hot on my neck. I buried my face deeper into the nook between his neck and chest as he traced circles on my lower back, dangerously close to my butt. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, savoring and soaking in the way every part of his body felt, every way he touched me. I never wanted to forget this. We laid like that for a while, Logan tracing circles on my back and my arms wrapped around him. I'd always loved when he did this, his soft fingers calming me down from whatever mood I was in.
He's not mine to like anymore.
I kissed his cheek and got up out of bed, finding a robe in the closet. I got our clothes in order as Logan straightened up the bed. We met in the middle of the room by the window seat after eons of silence. I had to keep my arms crossed in the fear that I would pull him closer and closer to me.
Logan placed his hands on the back of my head as he kissed my forehead like he always does. I wished I could live like this forever. I wished our goodbye didn't have to be so awful.

We got dressed and headed downstairs, as I said my goodbyes to the infamous Life and Death Brigade. The boys all walked out, all except for Logan, who stood facing me with tears in his eyes. I pulled him in for one last kiss full of longing and regret on both our ends. "Thank you, Logan Huntzberger." I whispered, tears rolling down my face. "I love you, Ace. Go get them out there" Logan responded, as I pulled apart and walked reluctantly out the door, my world shattering behind me.