The New Man and My Baby

Chapter 19

            I don't know how I did it, but I suppose I just did. Everyday was just another day to me and I knew it was because I missed Xaiven. Of course as of right now I was only admitting that to myself. There were many times when I would think about calling him, but of course that would mean me admitting that I might have been a little harsh a few weeks ago and there was no way I was going to admit that. Not yet, no way. I would dial his number without thinking about it most of the time and when I realized what I did I hung the phone up before it could start ringing. All I had was my pride and I was going to wait until the last possible moment to call Xaiven. He didn't seem like the type to rub it in your face, or the 'I told you so' person, but hey better safe than sorry right.

Things with Nick were; I don't know what to say. It seemed like when he came over he was here, but he was miles away at the same time. I wasn't sure what to do with that really. I would also catch him staring at me when he didn't think I would notice so that was a lot. He always had this look about him when I caught him looking, but then he would realize I caught him staring and he would look away really fast. Then there were the phone calls. I know I shouldn't care but he always ran away from me when his phone rang. Hell he didn't even do that when we were together and I still never knew he was cheating on me. With Nick I knew I shouldn't worry about his phone calls since we are no longer together, but I really just can't help myself. I know it's crazy, but to be honest I don't trust him. I didn't even look forward to letting him around my kids when I wasn't around but that's how it was going to be. I just didn't know who Nick was anymore and since I don't like the looks I catch him giving me then how can I be OK with him running away every time he got a phone call. I stopped to think about that and realized how sad that was, or maybe I was just really stupid. Hey I'm sticking to the stupid part, but I guess I could be excused because I was 'in love' or so I thought.

There were times when I was out with the twins and I would swear I saw Xaiven following me. I knew it was really something when I stopped a strange man in the store. It was horrible. I was walking to a baby store to get Lonnie more clothes because his fat butt was getting too tall for most of his. He didn't get to wear most of his clothes after a month. So I was walking and I saw this guy who I thought was Xaiven at the time and I started calling his name. You know how they would do it in the movies and they would be screaming for someone across the mall or something? Well I looked like that but worst because I had babies with me. People were staring at me and I was still yelling. I guess someone realized I was calling 'Xaiven' because they tapped him and he turned. To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement. That man was not him.

As I sat at home that night I knew that I wanted to call Xaiven and I was trying to think of all the reasons why not to call him, but I really couldn't come up with any. Now would be a good time for one of the twins to wake up so I could take care of them or something. Unfortunately they were sleeping through the night and really didn't wake up anymore. I was so outta luck. I made myself bite the bullet and just call him.

"Hello?"

"Xaiven," yea I was going for the calm factor even thought I knew I was far from calm. There was a side of me that knew I had to apologize to him because I may have overreacted a bit, but what can you do when you think you are just a job to someone. Hell I'm a stressed out woman anyway.

"Karri?"

Well did he have other women calling him??

"That's me! Look are you busy because if you are I can call you some other time," To be honest I was hoping he was because I wasn't looking forward to talking to him right now. What person you know wants to admit being wrong?