I Never Had a Choice

Chapter 37- Explanation

I look around the dark corridor and can't help but hear the screams. Terrified, horrific screams.

I know this place. I knew exactly where I was as soon as I breathed in the musty air. The smell of old books, ancient furniture, and dried blood. I grew up with that smell.

But those screams, those are what haunts me in this corridor. I know they're all in my head, but they seem so real.

They are real. Real to me at least. At one time they really were echoing through these corridors. Endless screams.

You never forget the sound someone makes the first time they are on the receiving end of a cruciatus curse. You never forget the feeling of the hairs on the back of your neck standing on edge when you know the Dark Lord is coming. You never find yourself after you see someone writhing in pain at the curse you cast. You never forget the look of fear in someone's eyes when they see you raise your wand to them.

Those are the the crosses I have to bear. I've managed to suppress them, but being back in this place where it all took place. The memories are resurfacing. Every step I take in this place makes me cringe.

How could I have seen this place as home?

"I see you've finally made it, my dear son," I hear someone say from down the dark corridor. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever show your face at the manor again."

I sneer at the sound of his voice, "I'd much rather be here to burn this place to the ground."

He lets out a low, unhumorous chuckle, "That's no way to speak of your home, Draco."

"This place stoped being my home the moment you brought those monsters into the place you raised your child! You put your entire family at risk! Did you care about that, even for a moment?" I exclaim as I step closer to him so I can see his face.

I study him as his emotions flash in his eyes, if it were anyone else I'd feel sympathetic, but this monster killed Mother.

"You have no right to question me. I am your father, I raised you. I did my best to keep you and your brother safe. How dare you question that," he spits with venom in his voice.

"Don't you mean mother? I don't have a brother," I snap back. "The Malfoy line consists of one child per generation, unless the first born wasn't male. Always, if you had more you'd be disinherited. That's how it's always been," I correct. "And if you tried so hard to protect us, why is Mother dead! Why'd you kill her!"

"Narcissa's..."

"Dead, yeah, quit acting so bloody surprised about the fact that the woman you attacked is dead," I spit. "Wipe that surprised look off your face, I checked the floo, you were the last one in Grimauld. You didn't cover your tracks very well. I guess the one lesson you taught me that actually stuck is the only one you didn't learn yourself. Pathetic."

"I would never attack Narcissa!" He shouts.

"Then why were you at Grimauld Place!"

"We had things we needed to discuss, things that didn't involve you. When I left she was perfectly fine, upset, but unharmed, I swear," Lucius explains.

"Why the bloody hell should I believe you," I spit back. "You never cared about her. All you cared about where your stupid Death Eater friends and your money. You never gave a rat's arse about Mother or me. So, take your awful apologies and shove them up your arse, I'm leaving."

"Son, wait..."

"No, Lucius. I'm no son of yours, you lost your right to call me your son the minute you killed my mother. This is goodbye, not that you deserve this closure," I state as I turn to leave.

"Before you go, why hasn't your hair changed back to blonde?"

"I enchanted it to stay this way, I didn't want to look like you and the name that was forced upon me, Lucius."

I finally reach the door, open it and stride outside, but right before it latches behind me I hear a distinct, "I love you," come from the other side.

I break down.