Unreachable

Chapter 8

The princess tracked her friend to the top of a cliff, where a somber look was spread across his face. Anodien's glee quickly turned to concern, and she sat beside him. "Are you alright?" Legolas looked up at her query. The sky rumbled in the distance, covered with gray clouds.

"I..." he hesitated. A low chuckle escaped his throat. "I don't know if I should tell you. It would only hurt us both." Anodien tipped her head. What could he possibly say? "A wise poet once said, 'a love unrequited is a love that cuts like a sword'."

"What do you mean?" Unease began to pool in the princess' stomach. Legolas turned to her, despair in his crystalline blue eyes.

"Anodien, I need to tell you something... Something from long ago." A few minutes passed, and the tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife when the prince finally started. "When I was younger, perhaps only a few centuries old, I met an Elleth named Tauriel." Legolas paused, gathering his words. "She was an exceptional fighter, and--" Legolas' cheeks reddened, "-- I thought she was the most gorgeous She-Elf I'd ever laid eyes on." Anodien knew where the Ellon was going with his story, and it was a mixture of love and horror that kept her rooted to the spot. "After some time, I believed she returned my affections. I told her, opened myself up, and to my relief, she accepted my proposal."

"I see," Anodien responded, trying desperately to keep her voice level. She failed, though the Elf did not seem to notice, so deep in his memories was he. Legolas shifted his weight onto his left side, staring up at the dark clouds.

"Tauriel seemed to be everything I'd ever wanted. She was fierce enough to challenge me, beautiful enough to rival Galadriel herself, and yet was so very gentle." Legolas closed his eyes, pain visible in his expression. "Mere weeks before the date we were to be wed, she took me on a walk to the Southern Falls, where I had asked for her hand. I thought she was going to swear her love to me in the same place as I.

"I was very wrong... Tauriel told me that she was done with me, that I was not worth her." At this, Legolas was silent. Anodien was torn between hatred at both herself and Tauriel, and feeling his pain striking through her heart. "But I let her walk away without another word.

"I still love her, you know," he murmured brokenly. "None have ever crushed me as thoroughly as she did. Tauriel... was my sunlight." A sigh escaped his pale pink lips, and Anodien felt her world crashing down. "I could never love another, yet she does not love me."

"Oh." That was all Anodien could say. She could barely keep the misery at bay, setting up a wall between her and her emotions. Oh. "I'm sorry." Legolas laughed breathily, though it did not hold humor.

"It's not your fault." A tear rolled down Anodien's cheek. His words were burning into her brain, and her chest felt like a sword had been thrust through it.

"I know. I'll be here for you if you need me. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me," she answered, almost mechanically. Legolas nodded, lost in thought.

"Thank you for listening," he told her. "I needed someone to care enough to confide in." He stood up and held out a hand for Anodien, though she held up her palm and shook her head. The prince shrugged and walked away, disappearing into the woods. The sky began to release its tears just as Anodien did.

She had never felt such distress as she did now. Knowing she would never be enough for him because another had broken his heart... however much she had despised Vule for cracking her defenses, it was nothing compared to how much she hated herself for loving him. She began to rock back and forth, clutching her knees. A black feather floated past her, and she wished she could be a bird, to fly away from the problems. But it's impossible, she reminded herself angrily. No wings, no love, no use for me. Anodien slammed her fist on the ground, letting out a furious shriek.

"How could you do this to me?!" the brown-haired Faeling screeched towards the heavens. The clouds thundered, rain falling ever faster. "I have served you faithfully my entire life, Iluvatar! Why do you steal away everything that would bring me joy?!" Anodien collapsed on the rain-soaked ground, shuddering and sobbing hysterically. "Why would you hurt me like this?" came the agonized whisper.

"Kill me now, Lord," the princess pleaded, the deluge chilling her to the bone. "End my life, Eru Iluvatar, for a life without him is not one I wish to live." She had no more words to give to her grief, and could only let out a wordless scream.

Anodien cried for hours, unable to bring herself to move. Let me die...