Unreachable

Chapter 9

Anodien laid there until the day had become night, though the rain continued to pour down. She could no longer cry, her tears long since spent. However, that did not mean her sorrow was lifted. If anything, it had only worsened as the knowledge that she'd never be loved again pressed down upon her. "Why can't you love me?" she whispered. She remained there for a few more minutes before she forced herself up, shame coursing through her veins. Fool! the princess chastised herself, swiping mud off the sleeves and bodice.

Idiot. You don't want anyone to find you here, crying... how could you let yourself be pulled towards love in the first place?! Anodien trudged through the wet forest, uncaring where her steps took her. The canopy of leaves kept the rain off her for the most part, though to her, it couldn't have mattered less. All this time, I've been pretending he was with me. My world may as well stop turning, if it is a world where he... where... She'd believed she was unable to cry any longer, but tears still began to stream down her cheeks again.

Anodien curled up beneath a tree, huddling close to herself. She couldn't stop, and she didn't want to. The tears and screams felt good, especially compared to what she was going through. He may as well have killed me... Another wail escaped her mouth. Why do I still love him?! She sniffed once, then burst out with a scream. Iluvatar, why have you cursed me?! She continued to cry into the crack of dawn, the shrieks turning into hurt whimpers.

The Faeling had no energy left, and her eyes closed. Behind her shut lids, images of him speaking of that witch Tauriel danced around. Anodien forced her eyes back open. Her breath came in heavy gasps, and the last thing she remembered was one single fact, ringing in her head.

"He'll never love me."