Beyond the Silence (Nyle Dimarco fan-Fiction)

Chapter 10

Nyle

A hand touches my shoulder and I wake up. Looking back at me is Sel. I pull her to me and she backs away. Ouch her pulling back hurt but I deserve that.

" I am so sorry Sel." I sign.

"Ok. Let me say something before you start saying something charming and I get distracted."

"Ok. Please go ahead."

"This morning was amazing and in a blink of an eye it was ruined. I felt rejected and it made me feel so small. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never let a man make feel like that ever again. I need you to know it hurt me when you ran off. It was like you were disgusted with me. I didn't know what I did wrong." She signs. She is getting teary eyes and it makes me feel like complete ass.

"Sel, you didn't do anything wrong. I was mad at myself for getting out of control and not using a condom."

"We both got out of control Nyle. I didn't act that way." She signs with her lip quivering.

"I know. I felt horrible that I acted that way. I had to struggle not to come back in the living room."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to take you again and again." I sign and I see her blush. "Sel my goodness what we shared together was the best of my life. It was amazing until I screwed it up."

"I forgive you Nyle. Next time just tell me what is wrong instead of running away."

"Next time?" I sign hopeful. She looks back at me shyly.

"Nyle. I don't know what is going on here but you have to know that I have my guard up all the time. Today was the first time I let it down." She signs and it hurts my heart that I hurt her like that.

"You where hurt pretty badly by someone too?"

"Yes. Very badly."

"Can you tell me about it?"

"What do you want to know?"

" I want to know everything about you Sel. Everything."

" Well I met my Ex when I was in nursing school at UCSF and he was a Med Student. When he graduated I still had a year left in school. He asked me to marry him when he graduated and I accepted. He moved here to LA for his residency. I would visit when I could but my schedule was insane at school. He always made me feel bad that I could not just drop everything to be with him. He even asked me to drop out of school and he got angry when I refused.

I finally graduated with honors and he didn't even show up to my graduation. I always put him first for everything. He got me a job at his hospital. I uprooted myself to LA the only person I knew here was my cousin Gilbert. I felt so alone. We worked different shifts and I never saw him. When I would go to work the nurses would be gossiping and when they would see me they would shut up quickly. My loneliness was getting to me until the day I met Charlie. We clicked right away and we spent every day off together. He followed his partner here to LA from Texas but they split after a few months here.

One of my days off I forgot to sign my timecard and my Ex borrowed my car that day. Charlie and I walked over to the hospital together. I needed my hospital badge to sign off my timecard and it was in my car. I saw my car and walked over to it and see my Ex. He was having sex with a new scrub nurse in my damn car. My heart broke to pieces. I trusted him. That night he begged my forgiveness and stupidly forgave him. He did it over and over again.

Charlie was my rock during those dark days. He convinced me to leave him. He told me I was stronger than I thought I was. So one day when he was at work I moved all my stuff into Gilbert's house. Gilbert and Charlie helped me pick up the pieces of my life. Gilbert never actually met Jacob because I was hiding what he was doing and how he treated me. He treated me like it was my fault that he cheated over and over and I believed him. I am glad he never met him."

I take in everything that Sel has just told me. My heartaches for her. This Jacob guy is a real idiot. He lost himself an amazing woman. Her eyes look back at me they are filled with sadness.

"Are you still sad about him?" I sign.

"About him? No way. What I am sad about is losing a part of me that I am desperate to get back. He shattered my confidence and I am slowly building that back up."

"How long were you together?"

"Almost four years. I found out later he cheated the whole time."

"Wow Sel. I am really sorry. He doesn't deserve you. Do you still work with him?"

"Actually yes I do. He was your surgeon Nyle."

"Dr. Jordan?" I sign. It's making sense to me now how he acted like a dick to me before I got discharged but I had no idea why until now. " Does he want you back Sel?"

"Yeah. But the past is in the past and that's where it will remain. I have no desire to be with him ever again."

"Well he'll have to fight me for you." I sign and laugh. She smiles at me.

I hug her tightly. She is sitting at the edge of the bed she gets on her side of the bed and lies her head on her pillow. I grab her so that her head is close to mine.

"Can I please kiss you again?" I sign and she nods. I bend down a bit and kiss her lips passionately. She lies her head on my bare chest.

" I'm sleepy." She signs. She closes her eyes. I kiss her forehead and she smiles. She falls asleep in my arms. I look down at this beauty. I feel lucky that she forgave me for being such an ass.

I don't know where this will lead but right now I like where it is going. I can't mess this up again. I can't lose her.

I have never been one to believe in fate but right now I do.