The Definition of Time

Chapter 16

They say I'm not supposed to like a boy like you
that you're a kiss and forget kind of guy
but I can't escape the way you look at me
the way I feel when your eyes rest on me
if I'm not supposed to like a boy like you,
then why do you seep into my thoughts
and erode my determination
drawing me closer and closer to danger?

June 17, 2014

I was right to be concerned about Collin.

I am usually completely oblivious to guys showing interest in me. A guy liking me is about as common as a solar eclipse or Jordan wearing anything but yoga pants, and even if a guy does like me, I'm usually completely oblivious.  One time it took a proposal with a ring pop in third grade for me to finally realize my elementary school best friend liked me. However, I can't escape Collin's attention. He hasn't said anything, but I feel him watching me all the time--when I swing the jump rope or give a piggy back ride or take a five year old to the bathroom for the hundredth time.

His observation is disarming. I'm not used to being watched; I usually try to stay on the outskirts so I remain unseen, but Collin sees me. We talk a little every day, and he's texted me a few times to ask questions about camp. He's friendly with me and Emmalee but doesn't mix with the other counselors even though Sonia, my least favorite counselor, has pretty much thrown herself at him ever since the summer started. I can't blame her--Collin's hot, and I'm hot and bothered.

I don't know what to do about him. I could just walk up and yell at him to screw off, but I'm non-confrontational and I hate yelling. Plus, I'm not convinced that I want him to leave me alone. He's cute--blonde hair, hazel eyes, killer abs. He looks like someone I would ridicule on the front of a magazine. On top of that, he's smart, and that's always been my weakness. He's a Mathematics major with a 4.0 GPA and is already being contacted by PhD programs as a junior. As much as I hate to admit it, he intrigues me.

"Rachel!" Mom's voice shrieks up the stairs, and I jump, dropping the basket of laundry in my hands and cringing as a bra slides down the banister to the middle of the living room where Tommy is playing Playstation. Great.

"Yeah!"

"I'm headed to Dad's doctor's appointment. Warm up the lasagna in the fridge before you leave."

Yes, that's right. Tonight I'm going to the drive-ins with Emmalee, Collin, and all the other counselors. I wasn't going to go, but Emmalee has enough extroversion for the both of us and convinced me. I don't know why Collin's going, but anxiety fills me at the thought.

He scares me. Perhaps that's why I'm so thrown off. Most people fit into certain categories, but I can't quite figure him out, and I'd really like to.

I contemplated trying to dress cute, but I've ended up in jean shorts and a flannel. I've let my hair down from the tight bun it stays in for most of the summer; that's about as wild as I'm going to get. I texted Jordan about Collin and her only response was to tell me that he sounds hot and it's better than pining over Josh from afar.

She might have a point. Josh. I push him out of my thoughts as quickly as I can. He doesn't have any cell service at the ranch, so I won't hear from him until next semester. I need to keep him out of my thoughts as much as possible.

~~~~~

"Finding Nemo?" Collin scoffs.

Emmalee, Collin, and I are standing in front of the drive-in screen in shock.

"As if we don't watch enough children's movies as it is," I groan.

I can't believe I let my hair down for this. Emmalee, always the optimist, just smiles and throws a plaid blanket on the ground.