Stardust ↠ {Haikyuu x Readers}

You Did Nothing || Haiba Lev

You Did Nothing || Haiba Lev || Gender-neutral

(A/N) - I'm sorry my child!!!! + Should I make a Mystic Messenger x reader, cause I'm a piece of trash? + Trigger warning.

He did nothing wrong. He was the sweetest soul you've ever known. He never meant to harm, in fact he never did.

You loved him dearly, but not anymore. You couldn't find the romance in your relationship. 

This bothered you a lot.

You didn't want to break his heart. He was deeply in love with you, constantly texting you how much he loves you. How much he miss you, and wishes to have a future with you.

And you didn't want to disappoint the friends and family who counted on your relationship being successful. You didn't want to dismay their feelings toward your relationship with the perky, wild, free Haiba Lev. You knew they all wanted you to marry him.

And of course, you knew, that after you finished college, he would marry you.

But you didn't want to continue dating, you wanted to be single, for a long time.

In the beginning you loved him, more than he could imagine. But as time went on, your feelings for him decreased. You didn't feel the attraction that you did before. I guess you could call it lust. Lust for a relationship, to be emotionally pleasured.

You stared at your cell phone screen. Tears were rolling down your face, and pattered down onto the sheets. You scrutinized at one single message: "I keep thinking about our future. After high school, college. . . I love you."

The droplets increased, as you gazed at the screen longer. Your hand faltered, and you dropped your phone onto your soft bed.

You hadn't even bothered to pick it back up, and peer at the screen longer. Your sweaty palms went to your watering eyes.

You cried there for a few minutes. Negative thoughts of how to end this so easily. Thoughts of upsetting the friends and family members that admired your relationship. Thoughts of shattering Lev's heart into millions of pieces, that could never be stitched back together perfectly.

Suicide, suicide, you can fix all of it with suicide; that's what rang in your head. 

You felt your heart race increase, and your breath getting lighter. Your palms had begun to produce more sweat. Tears were falling down your face, at a rapid speed, your face was turning red-er and red-er.

You felt as if you've been trapped in a box, and there was no more oxygen left. Now the walls of the box were caving in. You felt your chest hitch. It felt as if you were going to suffocate.

~Flashback~

Y

ou had began to feel distant from Lev, so you decided to tell him.

"Lev," you started, your phone close to your ear. "this has nothing to do with breaking up," you stated.

"Okay," Lev said, promoting you.

"I feel like we've become distant, I'd like some more time alone together," you said.

"Yeah, okay. Then let's have more dates without anyone knowing," Lev said.

You had thought that you'd feel more attraction then, but you didn't.

Your attraction decreased each day seeing him. There were some points when you didnt want to see him at all.

*********

Why do I want to break up?  You asked yourself, as you flicked your pencil on a piece of paper.

You were sketching out a door scene that had happened on one of your dreams. You picked up three colored pencils: red, white, and blue.

You lightly began coloring god-like lights around it. That's when you realized something. You pulled out a notebook from a drawer. You flipped to the page where you were rambling on about being free, and being able to do what you want to do.

Then you finally knew: you wanted to be free.

~Present Time~

You were still curled up in your bed, your breathing coming to a slow.

It was such a dumb reason to want to break up, but you felt trapped. You didn't like it.

You rustled your way out of the sheets, and to your bathroom. You picked up a razor blade you kept in there. You hovered the blade over your skin.

Lev was too sweet, you didn't wan to see his reaction when you broke uo with him. You didn't want to see the disappointed look on everyone's face.