Something I Can't Have (Seme Male Reader x Kakashi) {Naruto Shippuden}

AP: Juugo (Pt 2)

two months later.....

reader pov

"how are ya feeling?" Karin was the one who was helping me with the suit for my big day. she was more than happy to help out, nearly falling out her chair when i invited her to the wedding just a few weeks prior. she eagerly moved about, patting the dust from my suit and making sure that all the wrinkles were out of it. "im feeling....inspired, Karin. this long awaited day is finally here," i said. she smiled warmly. even though she only was around for about two months, i think we shared a good bond. we are good friends. i still have yet to meet the husband, which ill admit i was a little bit bothered with but its neither here nor there. she said he was out of town again. i told her that he is probably cheating on her. she kindly replied 'no, no, he wouldn't do that to his lovely wife, right?' i sighed. i cant think of such things when im about to get married in just a few minutes. she took a few steps back, looking me up and down with a proud smile. "ya know, im glad, john. i really truly am glad i get to witness this day. seeing you two and how you are each day, its heart warming. gives me a sense of 'why cant i have that?' and 'where did that go when we got married?'. makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside," she said, a hint of pride in her voice. i sighed. im not gonna lie, im scared shitless right now. this is the realest test of our relationship. we had only been dating roughly 10 months prior and its the big day already. we are already ready to pledge our lives to each other. im happy, but scared at the same time. "let head out now. the wedding will be starting in a few minutes," she said. i nodded and followed her out.

juugo pov

i took in a deep breath. there isn't anything wrong here. nothing. nada. we are good. the divorce was final three days ago. im not married right now. she is gone. im good. i dont know why this pit in my stomach wont go away but im not gonna worry about it. i mean, im getting married today. to the man of my dreams. i cant say i saw this day coming though. definitely not when i first got married to Karin so long ago but the circumstances have lead to it. she seems fine with it. didnt argue when we came to sign the papers. only wanted a few million to live off of until she can get a good job. she hasn't worked in a long time so it will take a while to get used too. i gladly gave it to her. that was all it took to put her behind me. no more cheating, no more drugs, im good. im fine. im here because i want to be. i didnt need any help. i didnt need anyone putting doubts in my head about this when i was already worried as it is. i had never been gay before i met john. the thought hadn't even crossed my mind until i saw him that night. i dont know what came over me but i felt the urge, just as i would any woman who would have walked by but this time it was different. begs the question that if john were a woman, or at least the receiver, would our relationship be the same? would we still be here today if i were the one in control in the bedroom? tsk...no use in thinking about what ifs right now. not when im getting married, again, in just a few minutes. im happy and i wont let anything change that.

the ceremony.....

reader pov

everything was exquisite. we were finally able to see the fruits of our work today. the walk, the music, the smiles as he joined me on the alter, adorned in a white tux. he wore a smile, bright and vibrant. full of life as he looked deeply into my eyes. i cant say i pictured this day back when i was still a virgin. the thought had never even crossed my mind yet here i am, ready to exchange vows with this man before me. he took my hands in his, just like how he did when we first kissed. he looked deeply into my eyes as he spoke.

"john, i love you. i knew from the first time i laid eyes on you at that bar that we were meant to be but ill admit, i was scared. scared for quite a few reasons. so many what if situations passed through my mind while we were together that it was hard to stay focused on the good things. for years i had a dangerous habit. i was addicted to coke before i met you but now......now im clear. free and clear of that burden and its all because of you. the coke provided an escape. from the bad people in my life, the situation, who i though was my friends and who turned out not to be. so many things i had to rely on coke to escape from until i met you. being with you, john, was a dream come true. hell, its still a dream come true. being on this alter with you, spilling my heart gives me no greater joy. who knows where i would have ended up if i hadn't talked to you that day. you are my knight in shining armor and i feel proud that ill be called Juugo Taka-(L/n) after today," quite a few tears had escaped his eyes while he spoke but his gaze remained firm and true. he spoke the truth, the evidence in his warm eyes as he looked at me. i cleared my throat.