My Dirty Little Secret

|Secret Thirty: My Flea|

The school day ended and Finnian was at his door. It wouldn't be long before they kicked him out of this place. Finnian didn't have a good job like his mother did. Since she died, he had been left alone, waiting, till they kicked him out. The boy smiled always, it didn't matter what life threw at him, he would always smile. His mother had told him to. Even though she rarely showed any signs of being happy, Finnian knew she was. They had their own weird way of doing things, just like any family would.

He opened the door and put his stuff down, not bothering to take off his shoes. Finnian entered  his room and stopped, startled that someone else was here. Wasn't the door locked? How did they get in? Did he forget to do something important again? Finnian shook his head, no, he remembered, he did lock the door this morning.

The stranger, with his dark hair and red eyes, stared at him, "Welcome home," he said, smirking. Finnian would like to pretend that it was a smile, but he couldn't, it was too malicious. His mouth may be showing teeth, in that way humans usually do, but his eyes didn't shine. This stranger looked like the living dead.

He was sitting on Finnian's couch, one of the few pieces of furniture the boy and his mother owned. His arms were outstretched, laying on the back of the chair. He tilted his head to the side, continuing this expression. Finnian had questions, he did, but he was too scared to ask them. What if he said the wrong thing? The man had a switchblade, he was playing with it in his right hand. Opening it, closing it, the noise echoed through the room.

"Do you know who I am?" he said. The question hung in the air for a while, Finnian didn't want to answer, no, his mouth wouldn't move.

"Izaya Orihara, my mother told me about you," he said. She had always went on and on about how this man was evil. She had said horrible things about him but she also said the truth. That he had changed, when he fell in love with Shizuo, that he wasn't the same man anymore. He didn't torture human life, he left it alone, he lived his own life away from them. But, the person sitting on Finnian's couch, playing with a knife in his hand, couldn't possibly be the person she talked about. How could he be someone who loved? He looked like a monster.

"She did? How unusual," he said, "because she didn't tell me shit about you," he spat the last few words to his sentence, Finnian flinched. Izaya's knife continued to open and close. Numerous times it would open and close. Finnian just stood there, watching as he did this, hoping this wouldn't be his last night alive.

"I'm not asking you guys to take me in, I can stay here, far away from you," he suggested, hoping it might be better this way. Finnian knew his chances of meeting his father were slim from the beginning, he was married and happy, he didn't need a child clinging to him. Izaya threw the knife, so close to Finnian's neck, if he'd tried to move it would've slit his throat. Finnian's eyes widened, the string to his straw hat broke. The hat fell to the floor. He didn't dare try to pick it up, or he might actually lose his life this time. Who knows if Izaya had other knives, he didn't want to test it, so he stayed still.

Shadows covered Izaya's eyes, he looked scarier than before. His eyes just glowed red in the darkness. It was as if he had summoned it himself, "Don't you dare try to lie to me, I know you want to meet Shizu. It has been your dream since you were a kid," he pointed to the stack of drawings Izaya had found in the boy's room. Izaya had gone through the room. He was trying to get to know this guy, trying to read him, trying to decide if he should actually take him home to meet his husband or not.

"Your father doesn't know you, he hasn't even thought about you once," Izaya said, "Do you really think you'd fit in with us? Do you think you'd just be able to hop right into our lives? All because your mother is dead?" Izaya clenched his fist, trying his best to remain calm. It was hard to maintain his composure when all he could think about was killing this boy. This boy, who shouldn't even be alive right now.

"I could try, I will try my best," Finnian tried to hold back the tears welling up in his eyes. Izaya wanted to puke. He hated this type of human. The type that tried to hide their true nature because they wanted to remain 'pure' in someone's eyes. He hated it. If only Izaya could cleanse the world of such people. The raven-head stood up, perhaps he could break him, if he tried. The question was, how far was Izaya willing to go? How far was he willing to toy with this one? Before he crossed a line that Finnian would never be able to forgive him for...

"You're mother, she loved you, didn't she?" Izaya took a step forward while Finnian took a step back. The wall was right behind him, forgetting that the hat was there, he tripped and fell into it.

"Yes, I believe so," he stated, trying his best to stay calm.

"How do you know? That she loved you...what if all this time she was just using you? Because she loved Shizuo instead?" he took another step forward.

"She loved me! She wanted to have a child so badly! She wanted to put her old past behind her! She wanted to have a family, be a mother, and start over again," he said. Finnian was beginning to lose control of whatever emotion he was feeling right now. Izaya sensed it, just a little more and he'd snap, like Shizuo always did. 

Like father like son.

Izaya grabbed the knife out of the wall, and played with it again in his hand. He opened and closed it. The noise driving the blonde insane, which was just what he wanted. All humans have buttons, you just have to press them in the right order. That's all. That is exactly what Izaya specialized in...pressing buttons. His whole life, that's what he did. The man even created a job out of it because he loved doing it so much.

The questions whirled around in Finnian's brain. He didn't know anymore what was true and what wasn't. He didn't know anymore what was right and what was wrong. Did his mother really love him? Did she really care for him? Or was he just a distraction? From a man she could never have...a life they would never have together...Shizuo and Vorona...because he had this man, this evil man, standing here in front of him with a knife. With that smirk. 

"You can't be right, I won't believe you," Finnian stated.

Izaya leaned in, and whispered in his ear, words that would finally tip him off the edge, "But you'll never find out, will you? Because she is dead."

Finnian pushed Izaya to the floor, he hovered over him, eyes narrowed in fury. A face Izaya was used to seeing, or one he had seen before. These two were so alike, it was undeniable they shared the same genes. Izaya laughed his head off. The laughter only angering the blonde more.

"All I have to do is kill you, then my mother can rest in peace, and I can finally meet my dad. You're the only person standing my my way," Finnian held his hand above Izaya's neck. There was no way the man underneath him could surpass his strength. He knew that. Because if he was able to, Izaya and Shizuo would never have hated each other, Izaya would have been able to kill him all those years ago. They wouldn't have gotten married, adopted a son, or made a duel faced cafe.

Izaya continued to laugh, his laugh cruel, echoing through the room. Finnian hated it, he hated it more than anything. He hated him.

"Go ahead, kill me, I don't mind," he coerced. Finnian was tempted, he really wished to end this man's life. He pressed both his hands to Izaya's neck, applying no pressure. He couldn't decide if this was what he truly wanted. If this is really what he should do. Was this right? Was it okay to do this? What about his father? What about their adopted son? He can't kill Izaya, he shouldn't. But that smirk convinced him. Izaya's menacing expression hadn't changed once during this whole ordeal. He didn't care, and that forced Finnian off the edge.

Finny didn't need to use his full strength to suffocate the man. Finnian glared at the person underneath him. He was frustrated, this man still continued to smile in that terrible way, despite losing his airflow. What would he have to do? To cause this man pain? He only seemed satisfied, that Finnian had actually tried to kill him.

Izaya's vision was fading. The room was going dark. Splotches of his sight remained, but splotches of it left too. His ears rang as his vision left. His head throbbed and his throat hurt. Was this what it was like to die? He never thought the day would come...Izaya faintly heard the sound of his name, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. He must be imagining things. Yes, that must be it. It is time to sleep now, time to bid farewell to the world.

Yes.

Goodbye Shizu.