Stressed, Depressed, O2L Obsessed

Chapter 3 - Nightmare

3

Two months later

"You're so worthless. Just like your father said. I hate you, you ugly piece of trash. You're so stupid!" He yelled at me.

"I-I'm sorry. It's not m-my fault," I quietly whimpered. 

"Not your fault? It's always your fault! Everything's your fault!" He yelled at me, grabbing a knife.

I woke up, Kian shaking me, concern written on his teary face and reached a hand up to feel my own. I could feel the wetness of tears on my cheeks. "What just happened? O - One minute you're peacefully sleeping the next you're.. you're screaming and sobbing and I didn't know what to do! I thought something bad happened!" I watched a tear slip down his cheek.

"I-I had a dream. You were running after me and screaming I was worth- wor- I can't say it. Saying everything was my fault. That I deserve nothing. That I'm just a piece of crap." I sobbed. "But what hurt most was that you said my father was right," I whispered looking down, a tear slipping down my cheek.

"Erica, I could never. I would never say that. You're worth so much. You're so gorgeous. That monster will never be right about you," he said wiping my tears away with his thumb then kissing my forehead gently. Although we were only best friends, we acted like a couple. But in this moment, when I looked into his eyes, it hit me. I was in love with Kian. Madly, truly, deeply in love with him.

"I.. I need to talk to Beth. I'm going to get ready... I just.. Okay." I got up and went to the bathroom, locking it before Kian could come and say anything to me. I slid my back down the door and sat on the floor. I took a deep breath before getting my phone out from my pocket. I texted Bethany and got up, washing my face and getting ready for the day.

I didn't answer when Kian was calling my name or when my phone was buzzing. I just kept to myself and wrote a note on the way out.

----

When I got to Bethany's house, I walked in and sat down on the couch. I waited for Bethany to realize I was here rather than announcing myself.

"What're you thinking about?" She giggled. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "You know, when you think you bite your lip? Just like Mom did. God, I miss her." She sighed. 

"I know you do... I do too." I cleared my throat before changing the subject.

"I need to talk to you about something important. I don't know what to do about it and I'm worried." I sighed, tears started brimming my eyes. "I just - I don't want to lose Kian. he's my best friend and if I tell him then he might not like me anymore and I.. I can't bear that." I rambled. Beth sat next to me and rubbed circles on my back. Then, she gasped. When I looked at her, her brown eyes were widened and her hands were covering her mouth. Suddenly, her eyes looked towards my stomach. 

"Erica... Are you... Pregnant?" She questioned putting her hands on my belly. I laughed, pushing her hands away from my body. 

"No, I'm not pregnant!" I stood up, "Jesus Christ, Beth. I'm in love!" I put my hands up. Saying it aloud made it seem a lot more real. I kneeled to the floor, wide-eyed. "I'm in love," I looked up at a grinning Bethany, "and I don't know how he feels." I started scratching my wrist and Beth came over and grabbed my hands gently, pulling my them into her lap.

"Erica, I want you to know that I love you so much and that Kian loves you, maybe even as more than a friend, there are a lot of other people out there that love you," she paused, sniffling. "I just don't want it to start again." She whispered, looking at my wrists. 

"Beth, I'm done with that. Kian, he makes me better. He fixed me," I said with my voice cracking. 

"I just don't trust Kian sometimes." I looked at her, not even sure what to say. She says he loves me and then she tells me that she doesn't trust my best friend. 

"What the hell Bethany? He's my best friend and I just told you that I realized that I'm in love with him and you tell you don't trust him? Well, guess what, I don't care whether you trust him or not. I love him. He loves me. He cares for me! He was crying because he was worried about me this morning. I'm done. Goodbye," I responded. Walking out, I loudly slammed the door behind me. When I reached my car I kicked my tire before getting in and driving away. I checked my phone and noticed a text from Kian.

From: Kian

Come home soon, I have a surprise!

As I was driving I just couldn't get one thing out of my mind.

"I just don't trust Kian sometimes."

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A/N: I really like this! I'm not sure if it's short or not... Sorry that it took a while to write. I've had writer's block. Love you guys.

Edited as of 7/31/15

Re-edited 1/5/17