Ich Liebe Dich.

Chapter seventeen.

Achim's Pov.

Flashback.

Three year old me was paddling to the kitchen to find my daddy sitting at the table.

"Daddy, I hungry."

I was really hungry. He raised his eyes from the bottle.

"Go to your room."

I felt the tears in my eyes.

"But I hungry."

I cried out as the beer bottle hits my right shoulder, glass cutting my flesh. The  only food I have had in two days, was a sandwich I stole this morning. My little feet carry me back to my room. I hope daddy doesn't hit me tonight, but I have pissed him off  again. That night I cry myself to sleep as the bruises from the beating I received are starting to hurt me so badly. It all started at my third birthday. 

Seven year old me is sitting on my bed, alone at home and very hungry. I can't even steal anything, cause there isn't any food at the apartment. I slowly stumble to my  neighbour's place. I haven't eaten in five days. I'm so weak and just hungry. My boney hand knocks softly on to the door. it's miracle if she even heard that knock.  Mrs. Müller is seventy one -year- old kind woman. She opens the door, already knowing what I want. 

     She gives me little bit of food every time. She tells that eating too much after being starved can kill me. Even if I don't like what is going on, I don't want to die. I thank her. I really have to go home, before dad comes. I can get so badly beaten up. That night, I was home before him, didn't help. He was so drunk, that I got it worse than ever probably. Every bone in my body hurts. I fall unconscious on my bed. One woman once at the park told me that if man hits, he loves. That's when I realized that my dad loves me. He loves me and love is supposed to hurt.

When I was eleven, I had started to almost like the feeling of pain. It was tenth of August when he tied me to my bed. he was drunk, very drunk. He ripped off my clothes. To say I was scared would be very wrong information. I was scared out of my mind, he has never done anything like this before, I was so afraid. When he got rid of his own clothes, my fear  doubled. I had no idea what he was going to do to me. I was bare, tied to bed. His mouth leaves sloppy wet kisses on to my neck. I still had no idea what was going to happen. I scream out as I feel so much pain between my legs. It gets only worse. Never in my life has something hurt so much. My salty tears wet my cheeks. After he finished, he unties me and leaves me there in pain.

Fifteen year old me is already comfortable with beatings and raping. I don't listen when teachers try to say to me that there is something wrong with my father. He loves me. He just loves me, but no one wants to listen to me. At my eighteenth birthday, I have to witness my father's arresting. Maybe I suprised everyone, but I didn't care. I hugged my cuffed father. My last words to him before they take him away from me forever were:"I love You too."

(577 words)