Splash

11 • in which myles catches himself

I am so excited for this chapter. It's probably one of my favorites in the whole book, so I really hope you guys like it.

Finals.

The bane of every teenager's existence.

Senior year, first semester finals. The last fucking time we'll have to take these things and it'll actually matter.

The past couple months have flown by. Everyone has been focusing on their college applications, constantly on edge, anxiously waiting for their acceptance letters to come. Me? I've gotten into Ohio State University, Villanova University, and the University of Michigan. All I wanted, though, was to get my acceptance from USC.

USC had been my dream for as long as I could remember. My grandfather went there, and he took me to my first football game when I was 5, and since then, I've been a diehard Trojan fan.

I had been so focused on my schoolwork this first semester that I barely had any time to think about Serena. Actually, scratch that, I've thought about her every single day, but I didn't have all that much time to think about our "relationship" that I always managed to fuck up.

That night at the fair, I spent the rest of the drive with Serena asking myself, what the fuck did I just do? I had basically given Keller Thompson, quite possibly one of my least favorite people on the planet, the green light to go after Serena, the girl of my fucking dreams. I don't know what came over me. It was when Keller mentioned Riley that I felt like I was punched in the gut. Instead of meeting everyone at Johnny Rocket's, I dropped Serena off at her house. When we pulled up, we sat there for a solid minute or two before she mumbled a quick thank you and left. It was like we were back to square one all fucking over again. It was like fucking deja vu. I knew that Serena was hurt that I didn't say anything back when he brought up my being in love with Riley. It physically pained me to not talk to Serena about it, to tell her how I really felt, but I just couldn't do it. I don't know why. I just couldn't.

It was then that I realized that I would keep pushing Serena away until I got the closure I needed with Riley. Serena didn't deserve that. Here I was, talking to Keller about what she deserved like I was some sort of perfect guy. But the reality of it was, that I couldn't give Serena anything close to what she really needs. It wouldn't be fair to me, and it most definitely wouldn't be fair to her. We didn't even have to talk about it after that night. I think Serena understood that I just wasn't ready for anything serious right now. So it became like an unspoken agreement between us, and we became super good friends. She helped me get through AP Calculus with a solid B, reminded me nearly every day to actually do my homework, and she nagged me to finish my college apps early, so that I wouldn't be so stressed out later. Thank God for her.

It was pre-finals week, and Serena and I were sitting in a little coffee shop in downtown Cardiff. I'd taken it upon myself to show her around the best spots in Cardiff, and this coffee shop, Strata, was definitely a gem. She sat across from me, her legging-clad legs crossed, Ugg slippers on the floor, wearing a big UNC sweatshirt. Her hair was tied back into a low, messy bun, loose, soft blonde strands out that I wanted so badly to brush away, reading glasses, and not a single drop of makeup covered her freckled skin or her long, light lashes. There she was, sitting in front of me, biting on the edge of her pencil, dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration, and I swear, she looked more beautiful than any girl I'd ever seen. Everything about her was natural and real, from her bare face, to the way she always spoke her mind, to her laugh that floated across the room, to the way her eyes shone without even trying.

"North Carolina?" I blurted. She looked up at me in confusion. "What?"

"North Carolina," I repeated, pointing at her sweatshirt. "Are you gonna go back home for college?"