LUX

5. The Trusting Beast

Three long years have passed. Three long years of absolute isolation from the rest of the pack.

My father is absolutely ruthless. No one gets past anything in this pack any more, he is an absolute tyrant. He's been training my brother to be the exact same as him. They both ignore me, along with the rest of the pack.

The entire pack is scared of the man he's become. Women have become nothing more than homemakers, children don't dare to play outside, men fight with no explanation. The worst part of all of this is that they still don't even consider me a possibility.

I am ignored and pushed to the side on a daily basis. No one dares speak to the girl who ruined their pack.

I haven't seen Ryan since that night, not that I would ever want to see him. He's ruined my life in more ways than one. Before him I was tolerated, not exactly liked, but tolerated. My father just simply pretended that I didn't exist and I liked it that way. Ryan is now the Beta of his pack but from what I've heard the leadership isn't all that great and the pack will fall apart within years – that makes me feel better. I also hear about his endeavors, his conquests. Their pack is not very large and I'm sure by now he's slept with the majority of them. It hurts to even think about him with others – no matter how much I would like to ignore it, I can't. Ryan is supposed to be mine and mine only. He's not as strong without his other half, but somehow I'm stronger without him. At least that's what I tell myself.

My brother has become the worst of them all though. Before everything happened, before we discovered this curse my brother and I got along. He was protective over me and I over him. But slowly he becomes more and more like my father every day – it scares me. He hasn't found his mate yet and is following very closely in Ryan's footsteps. He has the scent of a new girl at least once a week. My brother allows my father to be hostile to me now, he turns a blind eye and allows it to happen. He hasn't a clue what I can truly do to him. He thinks I don't have the courage to challenge him, he thinks he's safe. He's wrong, I do. I'm just waiting for the right time, I need to build strength.

Other times I think that I don't even want this pack. A pack that has ridiculed me my entire life. A pack that leaves me in isolation in fear of what I can do to their future Alpha. Sometimes I think that I should leave them to suffer with a poor excuse of an alpha. Other times, when I'm less selfish I truly believe that I can change this pack. Show them a true and powerful leader.

There's a reason for all this. There's a reason my wolf, the beast, is as strong as she is. I have to believe this. The moon has bigger plans for me than what I think. I just need to find out what those plans are.

The only problem is, I have no idea how to find that out.

I don't think about that much though. I just live in my isolation. Well almost isolation, I've managed to make a friend. She's only ever met me as the beast though, I refuse to show her my human side. Our wolves met every three months, It started as a coincidence – I would walk through the forests and she would be there. I'm curious about where she comes from, what pack she is from? It's quite obvious where mine is, she must figure because I come from the adjoining land but her, there is no saying.

I ran out to the forest again today, it's around the time we usually meet. I'm surprised when she is not there. I look forward to seeing the smaller wolf every time – not once does she miss a meeting. I go months without speaking to anyone in the pack to see her for a few hours.

The beast can't help but feel disappointment to not seeing her only friend. She sits around and waits for the small wolf to come. Day slowly turns to night and the smaller wolf does not show up. The beast refuses to leave though, convinced her friend will show up. The beast does not face much disappointment, it's an odd feeling for her. I however, feel it all the time. The beast stays the night, cuddled up into herself. When she wakes up her only friend is still not there. The same happens for the next two nights. On her fourth day in the forest the wolf picks up the scent of another deer. She wants to stay in her meeting place in case her friend show up – but her empty stomach convinces her otherwise.