LUX

15. So Much More

I ran out of that diner faster than I could even process my thoughts. Emmett was calling my name over and over as I ran out, confused because I gave him no answer. My breathing was quick and rapid, I felt so out of control that without the wall behind me I would probably collapse.

How could this happen? How is this happening? Amare was my sister, one girl who was always supporting me, no matter how far. She was the girl who made my heart shaped necklace out of stone so she'd be always around me. And now, now I find out she's dead.

I have so many questions. How did she die? When? How could I lose my sister and have no feeling? I promised I'd always be there for her and yet I wasn't there for her last moments.

I just don't understand.

"But Mama, I don't want Lux to go tomorrow." Amare cried to mama, I was crying just as much. I want to stay with Amare and mama forever, why would they make me leave?

"My love, Lux has so much to conquer as you will one day." Mama says, petting the side of Amare's face.

"But she has so much to do here still, we haven't seen the ocean yet!" Amare cries more.

Mama only told me this morning that my story is done with them that I have to continue somewhere else to shine my light. But I didn't want to leave my mama or my sister. Amare didn't like what mama was saying any more so she took my hand and we ran to our nook under a tree. We played all day long, Amare was practicing some of her tricks while I looked at all the pretty flowers around our nook. Amare calls me back in later and I give her the pretty red rose I found.

"Mama said that you have to go tomorrow, that we don't have a choice because it's what the moon wants." She sighs. Amare didn't fight for me to stay any more.

"But I wanna stay." I pout. I want to stay with the pretty flowers, and watch Amare practice and play in the fields. I want to be here when Amare finds her prince charming and I find my own. Sometimes Amare sounds like mama and I don't like it.

"I want you to have this when you go," Amare says handing me a pretty necklace shaped like a heart. "I'm giving you a piece of my heart so you know I'll always be with you."

"Marey –" My eyes get all blurry from the tears. I don't want to leave, I don't care what the moon wants! I belong here with Amare and mama.

Through the tears I see that my big sister is crying too. Her bright blue eyes are teary and her dark black hair flowing to the side. I crawl over into her lap and hold her close to me. I never want to forget her, I never want to leave her.

Mama came to out nook in that moment and told us to smile. I didn't know that that was going to be the last picture taken of me or the last time I'd see my sister alive.

"Lux!" I'm called again and snapped out of the last memory I have of her. Just by seeing his face, I feel like I'm betraying her somehow, I feel like I'm taking something of hers. "Lux what is going on, breath." He's over exaggerating his breaths to show me how to breathe again. I don't know how long it takes for me to finally calm down, but I do. "Good, Lux, keep breathing like that." He encourages. He grabs my hand and brings me to a park bench. He's rubbing my back up and down, up and down, until I can finally look over at him. His green eyes that always pull me in are staring straight at mine.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. I've ruined our week out and as soon as I tell him the reason, he won't ever want to see me again. Why does this hurt so much?