LUX

9. Leave a Mark

~**~

Natural urges, it's what were both feeling.

That's how he ended up beside me in my bed.

I've been through hell the last three years going through my heats by myself. I can't even describe what last night felt like.

I managed to fall asleep last night but within an hour the heat got to me again and I couldn't deal with it any more. Sleep was no longer an option. I had enough control to stay in my room, tough it out myself like usual. I even had to sense to lock the door and keep those teenage wolves away. But Ryan didn't have that type of respect. When the next wave of heat came through last night, he was in my room like a mad man – I didn't have time to protest, not that I was going to. Ryan knocked down the door like it was nothing at all, picked me up and brought me to his room.

The worst of it was when day turned into night again. The two of us were locked up in his room, intertwined with each other. No one could pry the two of us apart even if they tried. Long pent up aggression from two wolves that were kept apart for so long. It's been nearly twenty-four hours and the heat has yet to subside, every part of my naked body was on his -- touch was the only way to cool me down.

He was lying next to me now, my body slowly calming down early for one reason:

He marked me.

"You f.ucking marked me." I spit. I'd stand up to yell at him but my body was too exhausted to move from the comfy bed. I do try to move as far as I can from the despicable man.

"What was I supposed to do?" He growls. "You were tempting me with the smell and those fucking noises you were making."

"So? I didn't ask you to come in here."

"You didn't send me away!" He counters.

"I was kind of pre-occupied! I was desperate for touch of any kind, what do you want me to say!" I yell. "Now I have this fucking mark from a mate I don't even want." I spit at him.

"And you think I want you? You had to come to this damn pack during your heat, you had to come at all?"

"I didn't have a choice!"

This was supposed to be a special moment between mates, a moment that you'd remember together. A consensual moment of love. Not a sporadic moment during your heat when you couldn't control yourself.

Ryan has made it perfectly clear that we aren't going to be together, ever. At least before we had a chance of breaking the mate bond – he could have rejected me and I could have accepted it. We could have continued life without ever having to interact.

He's ruined any chance I had at happiness.

I start to stand out of the bed, my body protesting. I couldn't be laying here anymore with a man like this. I start walking around the room to grab my clothing.

"What do you think you're doing?" He demands once he sees me packing up my things. His large hand was wrapped around my arm and I can't help but feel the spark that is much stronger than it was before. I pull myself out of his grip before the mate bond can do anything to disrupt my judgement.

"You don't want this, I don't want this. I'm leaving." I tell him.

"You can't do that! We need to figure something out about that. " he says pointing to my neck, disgust clear in his voice.

"You and I both know that there is nothing we can do now that I bare your mark." I tell him. "We do everything the same, hopefully the distance between the two of us will make it easier."