Plus Sized / Ashton Irwin / 5sos

37

I was dreading going to school today. All I could think about during the weekend was Ashton and Michael.

Why Michael? Because Calum has been practicing ways to apologize to him.

And Ashton is pretty explanatory. I had blocked him on everything. I don't really want to hear his explanation. I think it's because I just don't want to be hurt. I have a low self esteem and what Ashton did possibly dragged it lower.

"C'mon Denise get up or you'll be late." Spoke my mom from the hallway.

"Can I just skip today!"

She opened the door, only enough for her head to fit through, "honey I know Ashton hurt you but maybe hearing him out will change everything. And skipping school won't do anything, he knows where we live." She does have a point. Usually when I'm upset I tend to shut everyone out and not listen to anyone. But I can always listen to my mom. She knows best.

I walked through the yellow door of the school and immediately my heart began to burn. Every step I took I felt like I was sinking. I feel like everyone knows what happened. My face felt hot.

"Hey Denise you okay?" Oh it was Michael. To say the least I'm surprised.

"Hi"

"So uh, have you talked to Calum at all?" Michael's face turned a light shade of pink as he fought over a smile. I don't understand how he can still show his face after all that embarrassment he faced. I can barley show my face after what Ashton did and nobody knows what even happened.

"Uh yeah quite a lot actually."

"Really..does he ever talk about me?"

"Michael are you considering giving Calum another chance?"

"Honestly, yes." I didn't have control of my mouth. Words just kept leaving. I was so close to telling Michael to drop Calum. To never look back. That he deserves better. But luckily I caught myself quickly.

"I don't th-- I do think you should..uh as well." Michaels face showed confusion but then a smile showed.

"So he talks about me?!"

I faked smiled a simply nodded. I realize now that Calum really was a jerk for what he did. How can Michael just forget what happened? I would've changed schools, move cities, hell I would never show my face in daylight ever again. I could never imagine the embarrassment he went through. But I knew Calum better. I knew he meant no harm. I know that he's just scared. Gah I'm confused.

The bell rang.

Michael walked me to my homeroom and left. When I entered no one had really gotten there yet. It was just me, the teacher, and a couple other students. I sat in the usual table and waited.

Then it hit me. I am going to have to see Ashton again. Today. I am going to be in the same room as Ashton. Oh no. I don't know what I would say to him.

I played with my fingers and the loose threads on my sweater. God I'm so nervous. What if he doesn't even want to talk to me anymore? What if that girl on the phone was his new girl? What if I was all just a joke?

Ugh I think too much.

"Hey Denise." Greeted both Connor and Kevin. I nodded at them still terrified.

"Hey you okay?" Asked Connor.

I debated if I should tell them about the Ashton situation.

"I just have Ashton on my mind."

Both Connor and Kevin looked at each other. Like they had something to hide.

I frowned my eyebrows. Are they keeping something from me? Even if they said they weren't I wouldn't believe them. I mean they have guilty written all over.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Uh." Both Connor and Kevin shifted in their seats not really answering my question.

I sighed and got up from my seat. I didn't give them another look at walked out of the classroom. I mean it's just homeroom it doesn't even matter.

I walked down the stairs and sat at the benches below it.

I dialed my moms cell.

"Denise, are you okay?"

"Yeah, uh mom can you pick me up..please." I heard her sigh.

"Okay I'll be there in 5." Then she hung up.

God bless my mom.

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sorry I suck at updating :/