and I'll never be her.
He chose Maya. He gave her a yellow jellybean at the ski lodge. I sat back and watched, he never went and talked to me for my so-called "approval" like promised he would. I was okay, kind of, my feelings were never really confused like Maya's. I knew from the day I fell into his lap he'd be in my life forever. He may be in my life forever, but not the way I want him in my life forever.
They walked to the bus hand and hand, Maya ha-hurring him all the way back down the mountain. I don't know how anyone slept through that.
I sat by Zay, he was nice and comforting. He put his arm around me and let me rest on his chest. Zay didn't talk much, just stare at Lucas and Maya and their ha-hurring ways. I looked up at him a few times but he wasn't having any of it he just kept his eyes locked on them. Weird. I didn't think much of it and continued to rest.
We finally arrived to the school, I shoved my way out first and towards the front.
"Riley!" I heard a familiar voice shout my name and loud footsteps. Lucas. "Wait up!" I spun around on my heels.
"What do you want?" I said.
"Are you okay?"
I mean the boy I've liked since seventh grade chose my best friend of course I'm not okay. I'm mad, sad, infuriated, jealous, infatuated. "Yes, I'm good." I said plastering a fake smile.
"No you're not." He finally took a hint about my actual feelings maybe if he did that on new years this triangle would've died a long time ago.
"Hm? No I'm good Lucas." I said pressing my lips together before flashing a small fake grin.
"No you're not, and I'd like to know why." ARE YOU KIDDING HE DOESN'T KNOW WHY, TAKE A HINT MATE. I started to dash off out of anger and sadness when he grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to him.
"Ow, Lucas! What the hell was that for?!"
"You're not okay now tell me why!"
"Why do you care so much, just go be with your girlfriend."
"That's why, her. She's my girlfriend Riley, okay?"
"Yea I got that when you chose her. Let go of my wrist." He didn't let go. "I said let go." I said in a more stern voice.
"No."
"What?"
"I'm not letting go."
"But I told you to."
"But I don't want to."
"Go be with her."
"No."
"Why not you chose her be with your girlfriend."
"How do you know that?"
YOU GAVE HER A FuCKING YELLOW JELLYBEAN. "You gave her the yellow jelly bean it represents her. I promised myself I wouldn't resent her, but now I do, and I don't know why."
"Because you still like me." NO SHiT SHERLOCK, IT'S BEEN WHAT, A DAY?! WHY DOES HE CARE SO MUCH. HE CHOSE HER JUST LEAVE ME GO CHOOSE HER I WILL GO DATE SOMEONE ELSE.
"No, Lucas I don't anymore now if you excuse me I'm going to go on a date."
"With who?"
"None of your business now go to your girlfriend and go date her."
"No, you know my girlfriend, I'd like to know your boyfriend or girlfriend."
UH UM I DON'T KNOW. "Charlie Gardener!" I spit his name out really loudly so the bus next to us, became quiet.
"What?"
"Yo-ou heard me, Charlie Gardener, t-th-at's who I'm going to date."
"No."
"Lucas you can't say no, I'm not your problem anymore." He gave up his right to be jealous when he chose Maya.
"You still like her!" Uh, oh. Maya. She's here.
"No, no I don't." He said hesitantly.
My gaze went to the ground. They fought a little bit I tried not to listen, as I was the cause for this argument. But I knew them they'd work it out, right?
"Be with her, you clearly still have feelings for her and while Dave was flirting with me you were too busy being jealous of her and a boy she will never go out with." I heard the blonde say, well this is awkward. Neither of us heard the flirtatious talk Dave made up with Maya.
"No, no Maya he chose you," I finally chimed in. "be with her, Lucas. And stop worrying about me."
Ouch. That stung to say. But he chose her, the last thing I want to do is get in the way of that. But he did defend me. Suddenly, I was dragged out of my thoughts with a pair of lips smashing onto mine and two large brisk hands cupping my face. I pulled back. "What?" I said, this time genuinely confused. "Riley, sweetie," Maya said in her motherly tone of voice. "I don't like him like that I didn't want to let him down when he chose me. But he clearly has stronger feelings for you."
"Maya, I can't do that to you."
"Yes, you can. Be selfish, I'm tired of this triangle and I really could care less about boys, no offense Lucas. You've liked him since seventh grade and you stepped back the moment you saw I liked him. But I was, or am, confused."
"I still can't, I'm sorry Lucas."
I ran back to my dad's car and asked him to drive and never stop until we got to my house.
I grabbed my bags from the trunk and walked into my room. Shut my door and cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up, I hoped for a better day than yesterday. I went down stairs for breakfast grabbed my cereal, changed my clothes and started to read at my bay window. I heard a knock, not a Maya knock. A loud knock. I looked up, Lucas. What the hell was he doing here, I told him 'no' what's wrong with him. I reluctantly opened my window and he scooted in close.
"I'm not taking no for an answer."
"Well it's my answer so you better take it and leave or just leave and never talk to me again."
"No."
"That wasn't one of the options."
"Well it's my best option."
"What about Maya?"
"What about her?"
"She matters too, I love her she's my best friend."
"You heard her yesterday, she said she's confused."
"Doesn't mean she means it."
"Pretty sure it does."
"She's lying."
"No she's not, Farkle even confirmed she wasn't."
"You sure?"
"Yes!" He exclaimed chuckling on the last syllable.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Do you still like her?"
Please say the truth, yes, no, maybe.
"No."
"Then why'd you choose her?"
"I don't know, because everyone wanted me to, or expected me to."
"You know you don't have to listen to other people's opinions all the time."
"Be mine."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm not listening to your opinion of my feelings that I feel for you. Or felt for her."
And with that he crashed my lips against his and never stopped until our lips were swollen and our clothes scattered on the floor.
A/N: CLEARLY THIS SKI LODGE HAPPENS LATER IN LIFE. AND IDK IT KINDA TURNED TO SHIIIIITAKI MUSHROOMS WHEN RILEY WENT BACK TO HER HOUSE!!!! SO YEA TELL ME WHAT YA THINK, MKAY BYE!
