the new girl in town\martinus g.\

chapter 24: all over again

j pov//

i cant believe this is happening to me again! i never thought martinus would do this to me. i dont know who anyone is anymore.

i found myself home again. i went up on the balcony in marcus' room or well my brothers room. thats my quite place.

i sat up there and just cried. i even thought. do i stay with martinus?

no. whats the point? he cheated and there is no explanation for that. its done and said. i dont want to forgive.

i thought he loved me. i thought he cared about me, but clearly i was wrong.

it was freezing out here. i dont know why i didnt want to go inside, but i just was hoping nobody would find me out here.

i looked out at the sky above me. it was cold out and it was starting to get cloudy. great. just what i needed.

when am i going to stop feeling pain? i thought martinus fixed that, but he only made it worse. he only made me hurt even more.

whats the point? what is the point of any of this. martinus doesnt love me anymore. my parents dont give a shit.

who cares. i could just leave and nobody would even notice.

lena pov//

i cant believe martinus did this. nobody messes with my best friend! i dont even know him but i know j and she loves him.

i heard what sounding like someone panting coming up behind me. it was marcus! i was glad to see him.

lena-"marcus oh good you are here. i think j is here i don't know where to look though."

marcus-"i think i do."

there was j sitting on the terrace. she looked so lonely right now. it breaks my heart.

lena-"lets go before she does something."

the key was still in the door out to the terrace so we opened it and went out.

maybe she heard our footsteps or us talking but she didnt even need to turn around to see us.

j-"please guys just leave me alone."

marcus-"j we want to be here for you."

her back was still faced to us as she said that. martinus really messed up this time. she turned around.

i could see the hurt in her eyes. she is my best friend. i know when she is hurting and i feel for her.

j-"you guys don't understand! you have never been cheated on! twice! marcus i know martinus is your brother but he has hurt me so bad. lena you know what andrew did to me. i couldn't carry on. then i heard about you and martinus. i fell in love with you guys. you helped me out so much through all this pain. i never thought guys like you could hurt anybody! i always told myself that if i ever had some chance of meeting you guys i would be nothing but kind."

she was really in tears now.

j-"i got made fun of for liking you guys. i didn't care at all. you guys made me happy when nobody else could. ive spent so long hiding some part of myself worrying what other people think. i felt like i couldnt trust anyone then i met you and martinus. i knew i could open up to you. then the whole accident happened. marcus you hurt me real bad but i knew it was never your intentions so i forgave you. it was just another twisted person messing with me. im tired of being hurt all the time! i thought moving would mean a fresh start, but cleary i just keep ending up in bad habbits."

she got up. neither of us said a word. we were too shocked to say anything. i felt so sorry for her.

she was nothing but  good to those boys and she is left hurt. she was staring in silence. i turned to look and there was martinus standing in the hallway.

tinus-"j im so sorry. please forgive me. i was stupid and i didnt mean for this to happen. honestly you have to believe me."

j-"how am i supposed to believe you? thats it martinus you made your choice and i was wrong about you. i thought i knew who you were but clearly i didnt."

j got up and went to her room and shut the door. martinus tried to go but marcus held him back.

marcus-"martinus just leave her alone. her mind isnt going to be changed."

tinus-"no marcus i need to see her!"

martinus went through the two of us and opened the door. maybe its just best if we leave them alone right now.