P: dan
D: yeet
P: so I have these 2 friends Chris and Pj
P: do you wanna meet them?
D: mm ok
P: like here? On texting?
D: yeah
P: Phil bby ♡ has added shithead and headshit to the chat'
Pj: hello !!
C: aloha
Pj: wait you call me shithead
C: and why am I headshit?
C: is it because that one time I gave you head and it was sloppy
Pj: wait what
D: what
P: Chris shut the fuck up
C: we were drunk off our asses
C: oh and it was way before you and phil and Pj and I started dating Dan so don't worry
C: yeah! And it was fun too because Phil's dick is like the size of my forearm and it was like an actual lollipop because he tasted so sw-
C: PJ JUST KICKED ME IN THE NUTS HELP BRING AN ICE PACK
D: you and pj are dating?
C: yup but seriously help
C: GODDAMNIT PJ STOP
Pj: punishment
D: kinky
Pj: oh and yeah we're dating
P: dans going to kill me help
P: OW
P: have I ever told you how hard Dan can punk
P: **punch
P: because he just walked into our room and punched my arm really hard and then walked out
P: Dan is pretty punky though
D: don't ever say punky again
P: you are though!
P: like you're really strong and you have piercings and you're the more badass type
D: that's not really punk at all but okay you said I'm strong so I agree
P: but I'm the more dominant one
D: yeah like Phil's really really strong like when he pins me to the mattress and like he carries me around when I'm really really really lazy or when I'm aching (especially in the mornings)
P: Dan
P: literally you just met these people and you're already telling them about our sex life
C: we're going to be such good friends
C: but I can tell both of you have boners
P: ...
D: ...
C: I'll go give Pj head so you can have sex baii
Pj: Chris-
Pj: well actually I'm not complaining
-
D: fuck phil
P: Jesus christ your ass is so tight
D: yeah we have sex all the time idk how it's still tight
P: why'd you leave thooough you were so warm
D: the couch is warm and I need to leave the cream on my ass without it touching anything
P: but the bed is warmer
D: :P
P: Dan
P: Whatcha thinking about?
D: how much my ass hurts and dogs.
P: yk what I'm thinking about?
D: what?
P: I'm thinking about your ass
D: Phil don't
P: I'm thinking about how tight your ass is
P: how eager you get seconds into making out
D: Phil
P: those noises you just made
D: Phil I can't get a boner because I'll have to turn around
P: screaming my name
P: loving how my dick pounds into your ass
D: Phil cmon this is cruel
P: those pretty lips of yours around my dick, taking every inch like a good boy
D: fuck
P: you're hard aren't you
D: fuck you
P: I'm the one fucking you, aren't I?
P: thinking about rimming you, baby
P: and continuing, and continuing, even after you've come twice
C: JESUS CHRIST PHIL
Pj: hey
Pj: OH MY GOD
P: FUCK
D: GODDAMNIT
Pj: I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO MY FRIENDS JESUS
P: oh sorry, we can still chat go on the other group chat
D: wait what
D: phil
P:
D: phil don't
D: phil
D: dONT LEAVE ME HARD
D: PHIL
D: PHILIP LESTER
P: who?
D: PHIL I'M STILL HARD THIS ISN'T FAIR
P: who's phil?
D: ugh fine
D: daddy I'm hard
P: I'm going to talk to my friends
D: but what about my penis like you could cut through a mountain with it
P: ah ah, patience love
D: Phil
P: I'll be back later
D: gODDAMN YOU PHIL
C: you are such kinky shits
