Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Faul + McLennon

(A/N: Merry Christmas, enjoy the first one and not the last one story c':
 *sits in the corner under the blanket*)

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 Once upon a time Paul McCartney was riding his car, stalking John and suddenly he got lost and had a car crush and died whoops.

So next day they arranged a funeral but hid the fact that Macca is ded becoz everyone would be sad. After that Brian came to the studio when the rest of the Beatles were crying much. And he said:

"Okay, shitheads, I've got a plan. Jawn, you'll find someone to replace Pawl, Joj, you'll make Jane fall in love with this new guy and you, Rungo, will take care of hints that Paul is dead to put up in albums. We've got to cover this shit up."

And then Beatles looked at each other and Ringo said: "You're fucked up."

And Brian left disappointed to find someone to replace the bassist on his own. And he made a competition for the prettiest girl and William Campbell won and Eppy smiled:
"I take u"
They made a plastic surgery so now William looked totally like Paul McCartney.

Few days passed. Beatles were really sad. Really really sad. George was cheering Ringo up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and John was fapping to Paul's picture.
And then they heard knocking.

They opened and there were standing Brian and Paul.

"PAUL!!!" Lennon screamed. "UR ALIVE!!!" He hugged him with all of his might.

"But I'm not P..." Campbell said, but Brian kicked him. "I mean, yeah, itz me!"

Joj and Rungo looked at themselves, puzzled. They were suspecting something.

But then they made a partaaay woo.

* * *

Meanwhile Paul – the real Paul – woke up in heaven. Lol.

And his perfect moptop was destroyed so he panicked and started running around and shouting and running and shouting and running and shouting.

Suddenly Jesuchristo came and started to explain him everything.

"Oh my Gosh!" Paul cried. "They put me to a coffin without any make up?! I have to go back!"

"Lol you cannot"

"But anyway I'm too sassy for heaven!"

"Right. Okay, I'll send you back. But one thing – you have to shag John XDD"

"What."

"Ishipyouasfuck"

"B-but..."

POOF!

Macca came back on Earth.

Okay, that was easy.
Time to find his friends.

* * *

The Beatles were sitting and drinking tea and William was grinning and bearing it. Nice.

John was sitting and thinking how everything is fine and that wanker didn't even wonder how the hell Paul was alive.

Lol Lennon u idiot.

Suddenly there was knocking at the door. And here came Paul McCartney.

“Hi everyon"

They were confused, becauz wtf, they had now two Pauls. Sounds like a perfect threesome for John Lennon.

"Hey, what the fuck, who is that lousy imitation of mine?!" The real Macca screamed at the sight of a clone.

"What the walrus is going on here?!" Joj choked on a sandwich he was eating.

"Which one of you is the real?" Asked Jawn.

"Me!" Shouted Paul.

"Me!" Shouted William.

"So we've got a problem..." Ringo sighed.

Brian slowly withdrawed and jumped through the bathroom window and run away. Bye bitches.

"Okay... so what do we do to know, who's the real?" Percussionist questioned.

"I have to sleep with him!" Lennon volounteered.

"Will that help?"

"No, but it will be fun"

So they were sitting and thinking how to distinguish them and finally Harrison screamed.

"I've got and idea! We'll make a combing competition. That one, who will comb himself the best in five minutes, is a real Paul.

"Brilliant!" Shouted everyone.

The competition begun.

Minutes were passing, boys were neck to neck, moptop to moptop, comb to comb. But McCartney fainted from the stress and his perfect moptop was destroyed again. Shit.

"Fuck it, I'll go eat something" said George with resignation and went to kitchen. Ringo went with him.

John was alone with two Pauls.

They started a wild orgy.

No, not really.

But that would be fun.

Suddenly the phone rung (they were in John's) so Lennon answered.

"No, love, I'm busy now. Bye" He hung up.

"Love?! Who was that girl?! JOHNNY?!" Macca appaled.

"Oh my eggplant, Paulie, it's you! The real you!" He hugged him. "So who are you?" Two lovers looked at Campbell.

"I'm William Campbell, McCartney's copy, yo"

"Okay, but we don't need you anymore. Go away."

So William was gone, Paul shagged John, Joj was watching that from the wardrobe and everyone was happy. Hooray.

THE END