Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Roger Waters' Wedding

A/N: Ayee. Long time no see.

It's 5am and I realized I need to upload something oh my God let's have some Roger Waters adoration

I don't even know what's going on here anymore

Enjoy!

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Once upon a time der was holy Roger Waters,,, a leader, the sun, the king and the beating hurt of great Roger Waters' Fanclub band and da most bootiful howrse and the best human in the world, the GREATEST of all, the winner, he didn't need anyone, the only one, joyal and triumphant, glory to him in the highest amen.

He was currently deleting pathetic david greasemoure's guitar solo from the record becausec it was pathetic and not worth hearing. But then Nick-No-crusts-On-A-Pie came and caught him.

“You can't do thath,” he said, while fixing his mustache, cuz he was a vv nice gay (I mean guy bc I actually don't ship him with anyone)

“No, you can't easter-egg Beetles songs, they're even more pathetic than daVId Gilmour,” the horse-face huffed and the wave of sassines broke da windows.

Wait. Did someone say sassiness?

Paul mcsASS came through the bathroom window.

“What diD YE SAY, BIsH?”

Nick Mason backed away slowly but then tripped over a crusty pie and broke his neck and died, spirited away, croaked, kicked the bucket, rested in peace, passed away, stopped living, conked out, was no more in this world, said goodbye to this planet. Sleep tight, mustachy angel.

But these two sassy bishes didn't even notice,,,, too caught up in thir sassines

“Pink Floyd is better than Beatles anyway.” At dis point Macca was ready to murder Waters, when suddenly there was a big flare and light engulfed the whole room. They even heard heavenly choirs singing in the background and.... ROBERT PLANT AND JIMMY PAGE ON A UNICORN (hugging because Jimbert) APPEARED, shaking their majestic hair.

“No,” Robert spoke. “Led Zeppelin is the best.”

It's up to you, readers, to decide who's right.

Anyway! john Lemmon came to McLennon, I mean McCartney to comfort him and 5 minutes later dey shagged

Queers.

Roger Waters was too good for rheir shit so he left. He did good, because nobody deserved even licking his boots, not to mention talking to him. Maybe except of Rick Wright... the boy was so cute.. no, gay away.

Roger Waters lookded at the mIRRor and sighed. “Nobody is worth me.”

“It's true,” answered Roger Waters and smiled“Im the only one worth you””

Silence

Silence

Heart beating faster. Feelings, usually pushed away, took over him. Roger Waters leaned in and kissed his own fuckin reflection in da mirror (bonus: he got a boner)

“I love.”

“love you too.”

Roger Waters was finally happy. He... He....

He was in love.

with himself.

Roger Waters opened his mouth, but Roger Waters interrupted him, kneeling down and pulling the small box out of his pocket. Roger Waters  knew exaccly what was goin on at dis point.

“Horsie,” whispered Roger Waters softly. “Will u marry me?”

“YES!” screamed Roger Waters and hugged himm and crid the tears of pure joy.

The preparations for the wedding begun.

and finnaly. It was this day. This day was going to perfect. The kind of day he dreamed since he wad small. The WEDDING DAY!

Bells were ringing joyfully and the whole church was covered in flowers, making the whole atmosphere even nicerer. Guests talked loudly how the beautiful this pair was. no, not really, the truth is that Syd Barrett was laying drugged under da table, Nick Mason was dead (they brought the coffin tho) and Hairvid Greasemour didn't even appear.

Pete Townshend has got a really nice nose btw.

Roger Waters was ready. Roger Waters was ready,, too. it was deir day. Their special day

Pope John Paul (not Jones tho) was the one to perform a wedding. Without any further ado he begun:

“Roger Waters and Roger Waters, have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?”

“Yes,” answered Roger Waters        llow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”

Syd Barrett woke up and said something about snails in the bueshes

The author of this oneshit- I mean oneshot cried vv                        

Pope smiled an spoke: I now pronounce ye...”

But he had no chance to finosh coz suddenly someone screamed: “NOOO!”

It was Rick Wright.

He stormed into a church, shouting.oh yeah we all forgot about him.

“I WONT LET YOU GET MARRIED TO ROGER WATERS”

The audience gasped in shock.

“And why is thus?” asked Roger Waters.

Rick Wright tore his clothes;;; there was a weddinh dress under. “CAUSE I'LL GET MARRIED TO YOU i mean if you want” <33333

<333333333333cute

So they got married and became a happy couple but Roger Waters was always jealous of his cats. Cute and lovely couple
#WrightersIsReal

“This oneshot was really shitty,” murmured Pol McCartney to himself.

“I agree,” added Plant.

“Fucked up,” said the unicorn.

So they all flew away, disgusted, and the legends say that thyre still flying somewhere in the sky, and everywhere they fly, a rainbow appears.

THE END