Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Imagine (Paul McCartney)

(A/N: Hi!
I've got something special for you. cx
At this Valentine's Day, I'm bringing to you, lonely fangirls, Paul McCartney Imagine to cheer you up. I hope you know it's crack, just as the rest. ;]
Wanna have some mashed potatoes?
Enjoy!)

--

Imagine yourself once upon a time, waking up and going to spend another beautiful day on reading gay smutty fanfictions.

How perfect.

The first thought that hit you after waking up was how much you loved Paul McCartney. Your strongest crush. The biggest love of your life.

And then you looked up at the calendar and realized today's the Valentine's Day and also that today's 2017, not 1964 and you're not his girlfriend. Sad.

But today you started to think. Think, how to meet him. Easy, just go like... 50 fucking years back in time.

After oh so long thinking, you've decided to sell your soul (or rather remains of that) to the Satan, in trade of a gift of meeting Paul.

Because who needs a soul lol.

So you came back from school, sat on a carpet, drew a pentagram with your pink crayon on a wall and called the Satan.

After you and Devil drank some tea, ate your cat, you did a ritual.

Now you could go to the London in the sixties. You were really happy and decided to go in this moment.

But suddenly your friend came to to your home.

"Together?" friend asked.

"Together."

"Forever?"

"Forever?"

"Never apart?"

"Fuck off, I'm going to Paul, bye."

With those words, you disappeared and your friend cried and cut themself with an eggplant boohoo the end.

But it wasn't the end for you!

You appeared in London in 1967 in some stranger's house.

"Oh yea, I'm in Paul's house!" you said to yourself, proud of your great idea.

Suddenly Lennon came to the room, wearing only his boxers. He stopped at your's sight and looked at you.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Isn't it McCartney's house?" you answered him with an another question.

"It is."

Suddenly, Paul walked to the room, with a towel wrapped around his waist. Shame on you, towel. Nobody wants you here.

"Oh, hi," he said, puzzled. "Whose is this child?"

"Dunno," John answered.

'OhhollyshitMcLennonisreal,' you thought to yourself.

"Be with me, Macca!" you said out loud.

"Sorry, but my heart belongs to Jawn," the bassist shook his head.

"I've got mashed potatoes", after those words, you took out a large pot full of mashed potatoes.

"Nevermind."

Lennon looked at his boyfriend, angry. "Paulie, come on!"

"Get the fuck out," you invited the guitarist to fuck off.

"Yeah, listen to her, we don't need you anymore," said Macca.

"Fuck yourself then," said offenced Jawn and stormed out of the house.

And then you were alone. You looked at each other. Paul was stairing at you with a love and adoration in his eyes.

The feeling born between you.

Two lovers, connected with a strong bond of the mashed potatoes.

You kissed.

It's not fuck me daddy. Not at all.

* * *

~1969~

Paul came to the studio, holding your hand gently.

"Hi," you greeted the rest of the Beatles.

The other three guys looked at you with an antypathy. They didn't like you. You annoyed them. They hated how Paul was taking you everywhere with himself, breaking the unspoken rule, no girls in the studio.

At some point you became hungry so you decided to take some biscuit laying on a table. It won't hurt anyone, will it?

"You bitch," said Harrison suddenly.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" Paul defended you.

"That bitch ate my biscuit!"

"Enough. Come on, Y/N, we're going out, said Paul coldly, so you went out.

* * *

~1972~

Paul McCartney and Y/N McCartney were laying in the bed, after their wedding.

You finally turned eighteen, so you could get married.

And you've taken this chance with both of yours hands. You were so happy together.

Your biggest dream just came true.

You turned to your husband's side, looking at him, watching him. You slowly came closer to his beautiful body.

And then you cut out his kidney.

The next day Macca woke up without his wife and the one kidney.

Meanwhile you came back to your times, sold Paul's kidney on the Amazon, became fucking rich, bought a new iPhone and went to the Mexico.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Except maybe Paul.

Lol.

THE END