Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Rick Wright x His Cats x Roger Waters

A/N: Honestly, guys, I love doing your requests. XD Thanks @radiomeddows for a purrfect story idea!

So the next ship is Rick x His cats, but also Rick x Roger Waters. It couldn't be better.

Get ready for some spiral of madness.

Enjoy!

--

The Cupid has taken his bow and arrow and aimed with a precision at Roger Waters. Then he has shot his back.

The another arrow has been meant for Rick Wright, but then Cupid got distracted by a cute butterfly and this arrow hit Roger's back too. So he fell in love in himself.

But that story is not about that.

--

Once upon a time there was Rick Wright - member of the Pink Floyd band.

Our hero has deserved a great honour. His boyfriend was the one and only, godly, great, wonderful, invincible, powerful etc. etc. RogerWaters.

I mean, Rick wasn't his boyfriend. He was only his henchman, which the one and only, godly, great, you know the rest, Roger Waters loved and blessed more than the other mortals.

Rick was sitting in his house, wearing his beloved sweater, drinking calmly tea, petting his cats and thinking, how good the life is, when suddenly pissed off Roger Waters stormed into the home. Oh shit we're all doomed.

"What's happened?!" Wright quickly got up at the sight of his boyfriend, furious as Paul McCartney on his period.

"David. Gilmour."

"Oh." Well that explains everything.

Roger Waters and David were connected by the pure hatred, the biggest dimension of an odium, like Brian May and a hairbrush. They were fighting all the time and about everything. Like rly. Every1, every1 wondered how, the hell, they could stand being in the same band.

And the answer was easy: they couldn't lol.

That's why the bassist threw the chair at the wall with a fury, barely hitting one of Richard's cats.

Rick, close to the heart attack, cuddled up the pet to his chest, while Roger Waters was walking all around, murmuring to himself:

"He looked at me the wrong way. He dared to comment my playing. Comment. My. Playing. That lil' son of a bitch!"

"Aren't you overreacting?" Rick asked quietly.

"NO!" Roger Waters' angry voice echoed through the home, so that keyboarder's cat jumped and ran away, hissing. Poor Rick.

His peacefulness couldn't help against Waters' fury.

He tried to calm his lover down, but of course failed. Roger Waters continued swearing at the guitarist, using the words that cat lover didn't even know they exist.

"...b-but I do like him," said hesitantly Wright, huddling.

If gazes could kill, keyboarder would be very, very dead right now.

"...ormaybeIdon't.''

So Rick sat in the corner with the cats, hoping all of that drama to be over. But Roger Waters ignored him. He was planning how to get rid of David Gilmour, out of his life. It had to be spectacular. It had to be really-

His eyes fell on The Wall's album cover. He grinned widely.


** *


"Oh, come on, you fucking crossed the line, Roger!" David hit the wall with his fist. Beloved Waters' masterpiece. And I'm not talking 'bout the album.

Roger Waters has built the big wall, splitting the whole London in two, to separate himself from Gilmour. The guitarist was at the first side and Waters, Rick and his cats on the other.

And everyone was happy.

Maybe except Nick and Syd but who asked for their opinion. Lol.

Roger Waters smiled happily.

"Fuck you, David!" he screamed through the wall, grinning.

And then the rainbow appeared on the sky, so it's a time for a happy ending.

THE EN-

Wait, nope. This is not the end.

The bassist walked to his henchm- I mean, boyfriend, and hugged him.

"Finally, the rest peace," he said, kissing his cheek tenderly.

"Yeah," was the only Rick's answer, while he was cuddling one of his pets, surrounded by the army of cats.

Roger Waters was talking about something, but Wright wasn't listening. He was looking at the cats with a sparkle of love in his eyes.

The bassist felt a wave of jealousy. How dared he ignore him?! How dared he cheat on him... and love those hairballs more than the one and only, godly, great, wonderful, invincible, powerful etc. etc. Roger Waters?!

Oh no. He'll make a revenge.

Suddenly, Rick went to make himself a tea. Jealous Roger Water acted instinctively.

He threw Richard's cat across the wall.

Brilliant idea, Roger. Really. Congrats.

When Wright was turning back, he was throwing them. One by one, straight at the surprised David, who didn't know, what the hell was going on at the other side.

Taste the Roger Water's revenge.

Finally, Rick realized with a terror, what happened to his beloved cats and he got a heart's palpitation and died boohoo.

Roger Waters shifted all the blame on David. It was obviously this shithead's fault. Definitely. No doubts.

Well... at least cats survived.

THE END