A Handful Of Darkness

Go away.

You're everywhere.
Everywhere I turn.
Everywhere I go.
Everywhere.
I watched you die,
And now it seems you're haunting me.
Like it's my fault.
Watching my every move,
Watching me cry.
I tried to make you go away.
Screamed at you to leave,
But your ghost is still here.
Watching me as I sleep.
In the room you died in,
The room you took your last breath.
With me next to you,
Holding your head.
I dont understand,
Why you won't go.
Why you're torturing me.
It's not my fault,
That you are dead.
But youre slowly killing me,
Watching me hurt myself.
Maybe you're here to take me,
Far away with everyone else.
Everyone else that I miss dearly.
The ones who stopped breathing.
Their hearts not beating,
Eyes not blinking,
Bodies
Rotting.
Rotting away,
Maybe that's what I should be.
A rotting corpse.
So you will finally be happy.
So you will go away.
Now it is your birthday.
Christmas day.
I'm locked in the bathroom,
That's where ima stay.
So I can finally get away from you,
And your scary blank stare.
No you don't say words,
But your look says it all.
The disappointment in your eyes,
Like I could have done something.
But I couldn't.
So I watched you die.
Watching you take your last breath,
Then it just stopped.
Everything for a moment.
The noise,
The thoughts,
and your heart.
Stopped.
And now you are dead.
But you follow me everywhere.
I say I am fine,
That I am just tired.
But the wounds that I have,
Show it all doesn't it?
The fact I can barely take a breath,
Without thinking to grab a knife,
And stab my own chest.
The moments where I smile,
The moments where I laugh,
Are just me trying to cover up.
Cover up my past,
My past which haunts me.
Exactly like you are.
Trying to push aside,
Push aside my pain.
All inside the dark part of my brain.
The part that is taking over,
Every memory that I have.
The more memories I make,
The more taken away.
So maybe I'm right,
Maybe what really would be better,
Is me as a rotting corpse.
Dead under the ground.
My memories of me,
Slowly fading.
Till everyone else dies.
But the world keeps spinning.
No matter what you do,
Your past catches up to you.
So this time,
I'll scream,
Go away.