Teach Me Breathless

Chapter 2

A/N: So far so good,eh? Let me know what you think...keep reading!

P.S. Dedicated to my creepy but cool friend,Nisa.Your very personality intrigues me to the point of me doubting if I really know you(meant it in a good way).

Chapter Song:Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran(Just because...)

Chapter 2:I might as well be dead...

Mara

3 days later

All I see is darkness. The light has gone. I'm standing by lifeless while. Reverend O'Connell reads his eulogy. Everyone looks somber and devastated but what they're feeling is nothing compared to what I'm feeling. I'm the one who lost the most. I was there and worse, I survived. Everything was a little fuzzy on that night.The next day I woke up at the hospital with my right arm in a cast and a few scars decorated my brow,my lip and my forehead.The doctors told me that I was lucky to have survived the impact and all thanks to my seatbelt.When I asked about Randy,everyone was silent.And I knew what that meant.I cried endlessly for three days up until now.As Reverend O'Connell finishes his prayers each of Randy's closest friends and family laid a single violet rose on the coffin as it was being lowered into the earth.I didn't do a eulogy because I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.I don't think I'll ever be ready.

I was the last one to give him a rose.I walked rigidly to where his coffin was being lowered.I take one look at the white coffin in the ditch containing my boyfriend and my knees gave in and buckled beneath me.Thankfully,my bestfriend, Bree and my brother, Trav are there and support me as I complete my task. A single tear slips out and I gingerly wipe it away. I look up to see a boy looking at me in sympathy. I turn away and walk into my brother's arms. I cry as the funeral proceeds.My back is turned away from the coffin because I can't bear to see my Randy buried. Forever leaving me behind.

I stand there looking at Randy's headstone in silent tears.

R.I.P

Randy James Meade

1995-2013

Beloved Son,Friend and First love

I try with every ounce of my body to not breakdown crying because I don't deserve to.I should be dead and buried instead.Not Randy.Not my Randy.Randy's mom,Cathy Meade came to my side and put her arms around me and we sobbed together for losing the person we loved the most.

"I'm so sorry,Mara."she sobs into my ear and I nod weakly.I put my good arm around her and squeeze her tight.I buried my face in her hair and wept silently.

"I'm sorry too,Aunt Cathy.I'm so sorry.I wish it would've been me."I told her sincerely.She squeezes me once again before letting me go.She holds me at arms length and she holds me there with her warm brown gaze.

"No.No,beautiful girl.Don't do that to yourself."she gasped but I could feel nothing right now but remorse and hatred.Hatred for myself.For being alive.She hugs me once more and leaves.I stay behind last and try to cope with what had just happened.My boyfriend,my first love has just been buried.An overly held back sob escapes me and I break down crying.I don't have any strength to stay strong any longer.I can drop the strong facade already because no one's here to see anyway.My knees give in and I sink to the ground weeping over Randy's grave.Someone comes to stand behind me but I don't bother turning around to see who.Right now,I don't care even if Michael Jackson rises from the dead and gives a concert on the spot.I just don't care anymore.I want to tell whoever's behind me to go away and leave me alone but I just don't have the urge to talk right now.Whoever it is kneels down behind me and puts their arms around me and it is then that I realize that it is my brother,Travenan.He doesn't say anything and just rocks me back and forth,letting me cry away into oblivion.

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When we arrive,no one is home.Not even Roza,our come-in housecleaner and cook.Maybe Trav gave her the day off because he knew that I would prefer no company right now.As for our parents,they're rarely home and are always away on business. They had to run our construction company, Collins Global Enterprises, that required them to travel all around the world to oversee projects. I started up the stairs once we entered the house but Trav stopped me in my tracks.

"Mara,you want something to eat?Roza's not here but I can make you some pancakes and bacon."he asked me sweetly and I smile at him.He was so caring and so very handsome.We had the same wavy copper hair and bright blue eyes.Trav and I are twins.And ever since we were old enough to ask our parents who was older-Trav is two minutes older than I-he has been the best big brother in the world.He was like a third parent to me when my parents were away.He was loving,caring,kind and protective of me.He hated seeing me upset and it made me guilty but this time is an exception.I descended the stairs again and strode over to him to give him a big hug.He's been so supportive these past few days.My parents flew in to check up on me but they had to fly back to LA to handle an emergency there.So that left Trav pampering me every single minute though I suspect he likes doing it.He seemed shock by my hug that it took him a few seconds to hug back.His arms were a secure and comforting haven that I needed often these past few days.He buried his face in my hair and inhaled.

"Thank you for being here for me,Trav."I murmured shakily and his arms tighten around me.

"Of course.You're my sister.I love you,Mara."he whispered into my ear and I took comfort in his words.I sighed and pulled away to look into his eyes,our eyes.I can see his genuine concern and love for me that it tugs at my heart.

"I love you too."I tell him and I excuse myself to rest in my room upstairs.

I don't bother changing out of the black sundress and white cardigan I wore to the funeral before I collapse on my bed.I curl myself into a ball and shut out everything.I'm too afraid to shut my eyes because everytime I do,all I see is him.All I hear,feel,smell is him.Even though he's gone,he's not actually gone.In my head he remains smiling at me and again I am reminded of how I will never see that smile ever again as long as my eyes are open.It feels wonderful to see him again but it also hurts to be reminded that it isn't real.Unable to face him,I just stare out my window into the blue sky thinking that I might as well be dead than suffer as my heart breaks into a billion pieces.

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Writing this chapter made me feel depressed,a bit.I feel so bad for Mara.I'm such an evil person!Well,I hope you enjoyed.Please comment,vote and follow me.Love you,bookies!