Desire • Laurinah[COMPLETED]

Seventeen

8 Months Later

Lauren

It had been eight months of misery since I left Dinah, and to be honest, I completely regretted it.

Every night, I went to bed holding onto the bump on my stomach, afraid of my and my child's safety because Dinah was not here to hold me. Every night, I closed my eyes and all I could see were her beautiful brown eyes full of hurt as she cried, pleading for me not to leave. The thoughts kept me up most nights, only letting me fall asleep when my body was so deprived of it that I couldn't stay awake thinking about her. I didn't know why I had left her.

Maybe it was the fact she was always busy and moving around from city to city for her job, maybe it was that I didn't want to raise a child only being there to be a heir to the company. They were all good reasons I figured, but I was missing one key element.

Most would leave their girlfriend or boyfriend because they didn't love them, they weren't ready to start a family and commit, but that wasn't my case. I loved Dinah with all my heart, but it hadn't been enough to make me stay.

I wondered how she had done after I left, after I said I couldn't do us anymore.

Maybe I would know if I would've stayed in L.A.

But I hadn't, I moved back to Miami and not a day went by that I didn't think of Dinah Jane Hansen. I would never love another person except for Dinah Jane Hansen. That was the truth, and I knew I couldn't deny it any longer.

I was fine without her financially, but I wasn't mentally or emotionally and that was what almost pushed me to go back to her several times.

I would have if Normani hadn't kept me updated on her, telling me that Dinah was fine and messing around with too many women to keep track of.

I guess it hurt that she didn't want me anymore, but I had to let it go. It was me who let her go, it was me who broke up with her, the day after she proposed to me. This was all my fault, and I knew better than to blame anything on her. She was allowed to go be young and flirt and sleep with other girls, but it didn't make it hurt any less each time I asked about her and all Mani could say was she was fine. Just fine. That she wasn't doing poorly, that she was fine and happy, having the time of her life.

I guess I envied that about her, that she could do anything she wanted without her past hanging over her. It was something I wished I could do.

"Lolo, I'm back!" Camila's voice broke me out of my cell of thoughts as I heard her, the door to my apartment shutting with a thud.

My best friend grinned at me, a small smile forming on my lips as I looked at her, happy that she was here.

After I broke up with Dinah, I went straight to Miami and luckily, Camila cared enough to come too.

We had grown a lot closer since we came back to our home town and I couldn't be any happier about it because being with my best friend was my only way of coping with being away from Dinah.

"Hey," I greeted as I munched on a piece of bacon, the food being my newest craving lately.
She stole a piece off my plate and ate some, making me stick out my tongue out at her as she only laughed and rolled her eyes.

"That was mine," I huffed, pretending to be mad as I crossed my arms, faking a glare as she giggled and sat down next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I think you'll be fine Lo. And so will the baby," she patted my stomach and I smiled, looking down at where my child was.

"Ow!" I gasped at the sudden pain of the child kicking against my stomach roughly. That was the hardest kick so far.