The Angel's Ambivalence [Naruto]

Aftershock

"And all the harm, that e'er I've done, alas it was to none but me. And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I can't recall. So fill to me the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all."

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Much to my displeasure, I woke up. I had no idea where I was, but I just didn't care. I didn't move or speak; I just sat on the bed and cried silent tears.

Every few hours, Madara would come in to check on me. He never said anything. All he did was bring me a plate of food and leave the room. I never ate the food, though. I was too numb to do anything.

I had lost track of time in my darkness. I had never once felt so downright depressed. I felt like a part of me was missing. That was just how important Itachi was.

The thing that killed me was the he didn't say goodbye. He didn't give me a reason. He just... Disappeared. He went off to fight Sasuke, knowing he wouldn't come back... Yet he didn't tell me. He didn't tell me anything.

Why didn't he tell me anything? Why had he done any of this in the first place? I knew from firsthand experience just how strong he was. So how could he have been defeated? How could something like that have happened? And why hadn't been around to prevent it? By the time I got to the battle, it was too late. I was always too late.

I heard a knock on the door, but I didn't bother to look up as I hugged my knees to my chest. Madara entered the room, and he stood in front of me, staring down at me.

"I know the truth about Itachi, you know," He said. "About what Konoha made him do. About his plan."

He sat down next to me, but I still didn't meet his gaze. I expected to feel a wave of anger or disgust at having him so close to me, but I was too emotionally exhausted for any of that. A part of me was tempted to attack him, because after all, we needed to get rid of him anyway, but I was too numb to try anything. Besides, he'd probably just dodge, anyway.

"He was ready to die," He continued. "But the only thing holding him back... Was you, Minxie."

That made me look up at him.

"I suppose I can't imagine what you're going through right now, having lost him... But you were special to Itachi," He said. "You brought out his humanity. You made him feel again. And you may not know it... But it killed him to leave you."

"... You're lying," I denied, my voice craggy. "He didn't say goodbye. He didn't tell me what he was going to do."

"He knew that you'd interfere," He said in a logical tone that made me angry.

"But he could've said goodbye!" I exclaimed. "He could've had a future. I was willing to help him get one. But he was just so selfless..." I looked up at the ceiling, my eyes watering. "And I want so badly to yell and scream at him, but I can't. Because all I can remember is that stupid, heart-warming smile of his... And I know he'd tell me it's going to be okay. But it isn't. It isn't ever going to be okay."

It was weird, pouring out my feelings to the very man who was the reason for all of this havoc... But I couldn't help it. I was so used to keeping things inside that I almost didn't notice I was doing it anymore. Itachi's death, however, had broken me.

"Here," Madara said, handing me a folded piece of paper. "Itachi left this for you."

I took the paper from his hands slowly, staring at it with blank eyes. "You didn't read it?"

"I do have some morals, you know," He said. He stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me... Sasuke will awaken soon. I need to be with him." He left the room without another word.