Risk

14

Warning: Mature content ahead. Just skip that part if it makes you cringe, if not—well then, merry christmas! 😅🎄

Kiefer

"Nasan si Mika? Bakit di mo kasama?" Jessey asked me as I approached our table.

"She uh... she's not feeling well, nagpasuyo na si Billie dun sa driver nila na ihatid sya pabalik ng Bataan." I said, half-lying since sinundo naman talaga sya nung driver nila Billie.

I took my seat beside Jessey and glanced around the enormous banquet hall, watching couples dancing happily with one another and having a good time.

That should be us.

"Bakit di mo man lang sinamahan? Hinayaan mo syang mag-isa?" Jessey asked, seeming a bit upset.

I could see why she would be upset. Mika is her best friend and I am her husband... technically. Kung may sakit sya o masama yung pakiramdam nya, the right thing for me to do is to go with her para mabantayan ko sya.

But what I said was a lie—just like every other lie we did and said on this trip—so it doesn't matter.

"I want to stay and support Thirdy." I answered. It's true. Gusto kong mag-stay at suportahan yung kapatid ko since I haven't been with him the last few years. "And Mika wanted me to stay. Alam mo naman how persistent that one is." I let out a laugh and I knew immediately that it sounded pilit.

"Ohhhkay." Jessey said, obviously not buying it, but she decided to let it go.

I spent the rest of the evening talking and spending time with my family. Ayoko muna masyadong isipin si Mika and how she walked away from me. Again.

But it's hard when Mama and Papa or Jessey and Kim will bring her up every five minutes, asking me to call her, to ask her how's she's feeling, make sure she's okay and feeling better.

Kinailangan ko pa ngang lumabas and magpanggap na kunwari kausap ko si Mika over the phone para makampante sila.

"Okay ka lang, Manong?" Bilie asked as she approached the open bar.

I nodded and took another drink of my whiskey, enjoying the burning sensation as it slides down my throat. "Sobra. Sobrang okay na okay ako, Billie." I said sarcastically.

I could tell Billie struggled to get her breathing under control and remain even tempered. She hates it every time anyone gives her an attitude—especially me.

"Alright, you've been drinking so I'll let that slide." She said quietly. "But seriously, kayo ni Mika... kailangan nyong mag-usap. Yung as in mag-usap. Alam mo naman yon, diba?"

I chuckeld quietly and looked down at my now empty glass. Billie must have not liked my silent response.

"Diba? Alam mo yon, Manong?" Sshe asked again, firmer this time.

I looked up at her and released a heavy gulp of air, smiling a bit drunkenly. "Kailangan pa ba? Kailangan pa ba talaga yon, Bills?" She rolled her eyes at my response, but I'm not going to let her get off that easy. "No, seriously, tell me, Billie... kailangan pa ba? Will it matter?" I asked again, grabbing her arm a little too roughly because she had turned and tried to walk away. "Tell me it matters please... look me in the eyes and tell me it fucking matter. Please, Billie... please."

I know I am far too close and holding her a little too tight, but the alcohol mixed with all of the frustration is getting the best of me.