The Commander's Daughter

Chapter 29

There was a moment where it seemed like I was floating. I stared, and saw that there was a body that my loved ones were hovering around on the couch, and it was my own. I stared at it, with wide eyes and disbelief written all over me. Blood was pooled around everywhere, and everyone's hands seemed to have that blood on them. My blood. My own body was starting to go pale. 

I stared at me, and my eyes drifted to where there was no small rise and fall of my chest. There was just stillness. Everyone noticed too, because everyone was a crying mess. Their cries were soft, as if they didn't believe that I was dead either. I was dead. My mind roared, and I was having trouble seeing. I couldn't get my mind around it. That one little detail. I was dead. How could that be possible? It wasn't. Clarke was saving me. Clarke had to have saved me. 

But all I could say, in a light whisper, was, "That's a lot of blood" 

It was silent, until Lexa's sob shook the whole world. I dropped to my knees, and crawled to comfort her, but my hand just went through her. My heart broke. Lexa's wails were so painful, I knew that she was dying inside. She truly was dying. If I could cry without my body, I would have been by now. I have never seen my mother so broken. 

"I've tried that before" I froze, and turned on my heels. I was on my hands and knees when I saw her. 

"Kora" I whispered, and started to scramble towards her. She lifted me up, and I didn't go through her. I held her, and she held me, and I cried. 

"I'm here" She says. "I've missed you, Alex"

"I've missed you too, Kora" I wouldn't let her go, so when we stopped hugging, I still held her hand. We looked at Octavia and Raven, both crying. We looked at Abby, who tried to comfort Clarke, who seemed to think my death was her fault. I wanted to tell her it wasn't. 

"I couldn't save her, I couldn't save her" She kept repeating between each sob. She clutched her knees towards her chest, and looked like hell. 

Lexa was in the worst shape. She still held my hand. Lexa had her forehead next to my face, as she kissed my hand, trying to feel some warmth. Warmth that she would most likely never get to feel again. 

"Kora, how is this possible that I am seeing you? I watched you die, and here I am in some sort of purgatory" I gasp. 

"Death does not stop true love. It only delays it for a while" She said, and I kissed her. The kiss was real, and it felt the same as the day she died. 

"This is the hardest part" Kora told me. "Watching those you love, die inside" My heart was breaking as I watched them sob like this. I nodded. "Every day, I wanted to comfort you, to tell you that I was okay, and that everything would be alright soon" I looked at her. "But I couldn't, and I watched you die every day because of it" 

"I love you, Kora" I say. "I meant it when I said I'd love you forever"

"I know you did" She whispered. "But you can't stay here" She looked sad. 

"What do you mean?" I asked her. She nodded back at the ones that mourned my death. Raven had some electric stick crackle to life. 

"That is what they're going to use on you, and it is powerful enough to bring you back if you let it, Alex" She had sadness in her voice. "Alex I want you to go back"

"Is this goodbye?" I asked her, not wanting it to be. 

"That is up to you, but I encourage you to return to your family" She sighed. "I didn't have that choice. I wish I did, Alex. I wish I had that choice. So now that you have it, I want you to use it"

"No one knows how much I cried the day I lost you" I said, and I could see them debating whether or not to use the electric stick on me. "I don't want to lose you again" 

"You wont, because I love you. And I will always be with you" She smiled, and kissed me. I felt a flash of pain on my wrist, and when I looked down on it, there was a small green bow and arrow. When I looked up, she wasn't there. "I'm the wind when it blows, the birds in the sky, the burning sun, and the glowing moon, and the shining stars. I will be with you wherever you go"

I looked back at the scene with my family, and saw Clarke push the electric stick onto my chest, above my heart. Suddenly, I watched my body twitch.