Suicide Recovery | Kian Lawely Fanfic |

One

The world would be better without you!

Make everyone happy and just do it already!

You are a mistake! 

I heard the voices in my head shout. I stood in the bathroom with a bottle of random pills from my mom's medicine cabinet. I opened the bottle and popped a few in my mouth. I stared at myself in the mirror as everything became a blur. I heard a voice shout my name.

"Paisley!" The voice shouted.

I laughed as random colorful shapes formed in my sight. Arms wrapped around me. 

Don't let them save you.

It's better off this way.

You'll finally be happy. 

x-x-x

I saw the light it as it turned red. Fear kicked in, this isn't Heaven. It's Hell!

I felt myself being pulled back from the red horrifying light. They're trying to save me, but why? I deserve this. My life is worthless. I'm worthless.

"Paisley?" The voice sounded like my mom. "Paisley?"

My eyes shot open as I gasped for air. I looked at my mom. Tears in her eyes. Why do I keep doing this to her? 

A lady and a man walked in. I looked at my mom tears running down her face.

"Mom, what's happening?" I asked, the fear in my voice readable.

"You tried to kill yourself seven times in one year Paisley. They're here to take you. You'll get better there sweetie." My mom touched my cheek. "I promise."

"Why couldn't you let me die?" I cried. "The world would be better off without me."

"That's her demons talking." The man said. 

"Sweetie, you have to fight them. It's the only way you'll get better." The lady gave me sad smile. 

I stared at them. Who do they think they are? Do they not know I tired everything? Death is the only option. I sat up but felt dizzy so I laid back. My mom gave me a worried look. 

"Don't give me that look." I looked at her. "You're about to give me away to these people."

"Hun, it's for your own good." My mom touched me.

"Don't touch me." I hissed at her. "What kind of mother gives their child up to strangers, do you even know anything about them?"

"What kind of daughter tries to kill themselves!" My mom shouted at me. "Do you even what it felt like to have you laying in my arms struggling to breath! No, you don't so don't even go there Paisley!" 

 I was shocked at my mom's words. I looked away.

"So you're serious about this?" I asked her.

"Paisley, they're here to help you." My mom sighed.

"You say that now." I rolled my eyes.

"I tired." My mom walked out the room.

I looked the man and woman standing there. I sighed.

"So when are you guys taking me?" I asked them.

"When the doctor says you're good to go, for now. Just get rest." They walked out.

I laid in bed bored as ever. I sighed. My eyes widen as I saw my phone on the stand next to me. I looked to see so many notifications. Kian and Jc uploaded new videos. God I love them. Kian is boyfriend material. After few videos I took a nap. I woke up to something cold on my wrist. My eyes widen as I saw an officer and the people from earlier standing before me. I looked down at my wrist. Handcuffs? Seriously.

"You're being released." The officer spoke.

"Are handcuffs really necessary?" I asked him.

"Yes, your mom said you might run." The man spoke.

"She knows me too well." I rolled my eyes. "Wait I need to get dressed."

I was surprised when they let me get dress. I can't believe this is happening to me. They lead me out of the hospital. Everyone looking at me, like I'm a criminal. I sighed. In front of me was a white van. Great. The man opened the door and I got in. I sat in the back of the van. This sucks.

They should have let you die.

It would have been better than this.

I rolled my eyes. Those voices are what got me here in the first place. I sighed and looked out the window. Trees, building. I feel like I'm going out to a remote place. I fell asleep on my way there. I woke to someone slapping my face lightly. My eyes shot open.

"Unless you wanna die, don't ever do that again." I hissed.

"Sorry." This girl with lilac hair looked down. "They sent me to get you."

"They left me in here?" I said outraged.

She looked down at her hands. I sighed.

"Help me out of here, I'm still handcuffed." I groaned. 

She nodded and helped me. I followed her into the huge ass building in front of me. It was solid white. I hope everything isn't white. White isn't my color. She opened the door and I looked around. People sitting watching tv, some playing with blocks. I chuckled and shook my head.

"It's nice here until you do something bad." She spoke. "That's when things turn around."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked her.

"I-I have to go." She put her head down and rushed away from me.

"Paisley Foster?" A young man asked me.

"That's me." I smiled.

"Follow me." He walked ahead of me.

"Is this the part where you rape me?" I asked trying to catch up with him. "I'm still a virgin."

"Shut up." He said sounding irritated. "I'm gay."

"Ohh." My eyes widen. "I can see it now." 

He unlocked a metal door. I looked in it seeing on bed. At least the walls were grey.

"This is your room." He said. "You may or may not get a room mate."

"Will my room mate be a girl or a boy?" I asked him.

"Depends." He shrugged his shoulders. "You should have everything of yours that won't harm you in here."

"Are we put in sections?" I looked up at him.

He nodded. 

 "This is section A." He looked at me, his green eyes searching mine. "Suicide Recovery section."

"This won't help me." I sighed and walked into my room.

"You never know, here's the key to your room." He handed it to me. "We eat breakfast, lunch and dinner is sections. It rotates by week. This week Section A is second."

"Thanks. Anything else I need to know?" I asked him.

"Don't do anything that will get you put in the psych ward." He walked out shutting the door.

 Psych ward? I sat on the semi-comfy bed. Everything was grey. It's quite depressing to be honest. I laid down and shut my eyes. The handcuffs were still on me. I stood grabbing my keys and leaving my room. I need to get these cuffs off me. 

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