Suicide Recovery | Kian Lawely Fanfic |

Twenty

* Paisley's P.O.V * 

"I killed my dad." I said, breaking the silence. 

Kian sat up moving me from his arms. He looked like I just slapped. 

"Paisley..." 

I help up my hand cutting him off. 

"Let me explain." I sat on my knees. 

"Okay." He nodded. 

"When I was fifteen, I was such a trouble maker. I would sneak out to go to parties. One night it was raining and I was drug, I couldn't handle myself. So I called my dad ... He came and got me on our way home we were arguing it. I was so angry at him that I jumped out a moving car to get away from him. He stopped the car and ..." Tears ran down my face. "A truck was turning the corner, he didn't see my him. He smashed right into him." I felt Kian's hand on mine. "The car flipped and flipped until it hit a tree." I couldn't control my tears. "My last words to him was that I hated him when I don't. I loved him so much." I could feel my heart break. "I killed my dad, and that's why I have these voices." 

"Paisley, you didn't kill him." Kian cupped my cheek. "It was just a freak accident." 

I looked up at him. He doesn't think any less of me? 

"Those voices, they are there because you don't forgive yourself, you're blaming yourself." I leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I know what we need to do." 

"What?" I looked up at him confused. 

x-x-x The Next Night x-x-x 

I watched as Kian lit the lantern. I turned to see my mom doing the same. Kian passed it to me. He lit his own. 

"Let everything go. Be at peace Paisley." Kian smiled at me. 

I closed my eyes as tears ran down my face. I took in a deep breath. 

"I'm so sorry daddy, I love you." I let the lantern go. 

I watched as my mom and Kian did the same. Tears falling from their eyes. I wonder what Kian's was about. I'm pretty sure my moms was about my dad. I felt Kian's arm wrap around me. I looked up at the sky and smiled. I felt a weight lift off of me. 

"Come on, let's go watch tv." Kian said. 

We all walked in the house. Me and Kian laid cuddled up on the couch while my mom sat on the couch. 

"Paisley." My mom looked at me. 

"Yeah?" I looked at her. 

"I don't blame you, I blamed myself to be honest. I kept you from being a teenager which caused you to act out." My mom sighed. "I want us to both move on, live a happy life. He would want that." 

I smiled and nodded. If my dad knew what I did, he would be so upset. It'll break him ... and to be happy, I looked down at my ring as I thought about it. I am happy. For the first time in a long time I am happy. Because of Kian. I found love in the dark. Who would have known. I placed my hand on my stomach. I will be a better person for this little guy. For Kian. For my mom. For my dad. For all the people who suffer suicide thoughts. 

"What are you smiling about?" Kian chuckled. 

"I'm happy." I laughed. "I haven't felt this happy in a long time." 

"I'm happy too." Kian kissed my head. "I'll be even more happen when I find out if we're having a boy." 

"We are." I mumbled. 

"We don't even know the sex of the baby yet." Kian said. 

"I know, but like I just know. This baby is a boy." I smiled. 

"Bet?" Kian held out his hand. 

I took his hand and made the bet. 

x-x-x Months Later x-x-x 

 "You're having a boy." The doctor smiled. "He's small, it concerns me." 

The doctor looked at me. My heart beat picked up. Small? Why is he small? I eat a lot. 

"I don't understand." I chocked on my tears. 

"Do you eat right?" He asked me. 

"Doctor, she eats everything." Kian said, his eyes widen when he said everything. 

"He's small but I think he's healthy." The doctor nodded. 

After the appointment we went to get something to eat from McDonald's. We were standing in line when...

"Kian?" We both turned to see Jc. 

"Jc." Kian sighed. 

Jc looked at me. His eyes widen when he saw my stomach. I'm currently six months. Yes it's been that long. Yes, we waited that long to find out the sex of the baby. 

"Congrats." Jc nodded. 

"Thanks." Kian smiled. 

This is awkward. Way awkward. 

"You two go talk, I'm going to order the food." I pushed Kian to go talk with Jc. 

As I was getting the food. I heard Kian raise his voice. Him and Jc began shouting at each other. I froze when I heard Kian say...

"I refuse to go back Justin!" I could tell Kian was angry, he called Jc Justin. 

Kian walked over too me. 

"Let's go." Kian grabbed my hand. 

"I'm not leaving our food." I stepped back from him. 

Kian rolled his eyes. He looked at me. His dark brown eyes, grew hard. Chills went down my back. 

"Kian." I went to grab his hand but he moved away from me. 

"I'll be in the car." He walked off. 

I sighed and waited for our food. I watched as Jc typed frantically on his phone. I frowned as I grabbed the food and walked back to the car. I got into the car. It was silent. Kian stared the car and drove off. 

"Don't leave me." I sniffed. 

I felt Kian's hand on my thigh. He gave my thigh a quick squeeze. 

"I'm not leaving you." He kept his eyes on the road. "I'll never leave you." 

"Promise?" I looked at him. 

"Promise." He took his hand off my thigh. 

We went home, ate, talked. Decided on baby names which we couldn't come up with any. I sighed. 

"We'll find a name." Kian gave me a quick kiss. 

----------------------- 

I think I might make the next chapter the last chapter. 

Quote of the chapter:
Shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land on a star. 

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