Just Philkas Things

Distance (one shot)

From:Lukas
Come over
We need to talk

Philip stared down at the text before looking back up at Lukas' door. He reached out to knock but stopped and wrapped his hand around the knob instead. He twisted it, letting out a sigh. Why did Lukas always leave the door unlocked?

Philip ran his fingers through his hair as he walked up the stairs, looking at the pictures hanging up. All of them had Lukas' mom in it and for a few seconds Philip smiled, he always felt closer to Lukas when he saw things like this. Bits and pieces of what make Lukas... Lukas.

Philip makes it to the top of the steps faster than he wanted to. He walked towards the door, sighing when he sees that it's cracked. He pushed the door open, slowly, praying that Lukas has his headphones on.

He bit his lip, smiling a little when he sees Lukas. He was spread out on the bed, his phone resting on his chest, his legs spread just wide enough for Philip.

Philips mind gets the best of him as he climbs onto the bed, dragging his lips across Lukas' upper chest before moving in to kiss him.

"Dude, what the hell?" Lukas sat up, shoving Philip off him and God, it feels just like that night at the cabin.

"I thought.." Philip trailed off, backing up so he could climb off the bed. He didn't want to be here anymore. He rather be back in that stupid child protection service car than here. Philip shrugged, pulling his jacket tighter onto him.

Lukas scoffed, sitting up so his back was flat against the headboard, crossing his arms. "God.." He rubbed his face. "I didn't call you for that."

Philip nodded, mumbling a sorry that he was sure Lukas didn't hear. "What.. what do you need then?" Philip hated himself because he knew whatever came out of Lukas' mouth next he'd do.

"We should just be friends."

Except for that.

"What?" Philip looked up at Lukas, walking towards the bed. "Why?"

"I'm not that guy." Lukas muttered, looking at the wall. "I'm with Rose."

"Lukas.." Philip shakes his head. "You've got to be kidding me. You're... you're into me, you've been into me, you kissed me!" His voice got louder. He wanted to cry but he couldn't.

"Yeah? I wish I hadn't!" Lukas yelled, sitting up as straight as possible.

Those words were like a punch in the stomach and Philip was sure if Lukas had said them louder he'd be doubled over.

"You.." Philip looked down, nodding. "Okay.. yeah.. that's okay." He forced a smile, rubbing the back of his neck, looking back up at Lukas.

His face had changed. It was hard around the edges but now it was soft.. and it looked like Lukas felt bad.

"You gonna still film my stuff?" He asked, rubbing his legs.

Philip nodded and he wanted to throw up. Why was he going through with this? Why was he letting Lukas make him feel this way?

Lukas forced his own smile. "That's goo-"

"Do you regret it?"

"What?"

"Kissing me... what you said.. do you really wish you hadn't?" Philip kept his eyes on Lukas the entire time, hoping he could read him, hoping he'd see some kind of emotion. Maybe even a small smile.. a sign he liked it.

"Yes." Lukas said harshly, standing up, walking towards Philip.

Philip felt a few tears fall but he wiped them away with his sleeve. These past two months had been a lie. Lukas didn't want it. It was probably just some pity kiss and guilt.