Just Philkas Things

Trans Boy Philip Headcanons

For my vvv gay friend flooded_lungs who would totally date Tyler Young if he could. (Or just own Ollie tbh)

(( if none of you care about the normal plot and just want the philkas fluff it'll be the v last hold title.))

Before the News
- Philip arrives to Helen and Gabes house on September 5th.
- When Philip arrives they call him "Scarlett" which only causes him to cringe
- three days of living with them Philip finally has had enough. He's sick of hearing the name he hates the most come out of his new "families" lips and he hates the non stop compliments on his waist long hair
- on the night of September 8th Philip locks himself in the bathroom, turning on the shower, pulling out a pair of scissors he stole from the kitchen.
He cuts off all of his hair which comes to be about a foot long. He stares at himself in the mirror and smiles before hearing Helen call for him. Or for "Scarlett."
That causes him to break down. He curls up on the bathroom floor, crying. He's scared he's going to get moved to another foster home if Helen and Gabe find out.
Just then Gabe knocks on the door. "Sweetie? You in there?"
Philip sighs, standing up, opening the door up.
Gabe frowns when he sees that Philip is crying and his hair is all over the floor.
Philip is ready for yelling but all he gets is a small laugh from Gabe. "If you wanted a hair cut you could've just asked." He rubbed Philips arm. "Now do you wanna tell me why you're crying."
- an hour later, Gabe and Philip are both sitting on the floor and Gabe is listening to every word Philip says.
"So you want to be called Philip?"
"Mhm."
"Do you want your name changed at school?"
His eyes widened. "You can do that."
"Yeah? Of course." Gabe smiled, patting Philip on the back.
"Now.. Gabe, can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Do we have any ace bandages?"
Gabe freezes, thinking for a moment. "No."
"Can we get some?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Just.." Gabe closed his eyes, biting his lip. "There was an article the other day about a boy getting serious damage done to his body from using that stuff."
Philip stared at him, nodding. "So, no binding?"
Gabe just smiled and pulled Philip into a side hug. "It'll be taken care of."
- On September 14th, a day before Philip is supposed to go to school for the first day, Gabe comes home with three binders. Two fit perfect and ones a little big and Philip can't help but cry.
- Helen and Gabe accept and support him no matter what.

School ( before Lukas)
- On September 15th Philip goes to school for the first time. Helen and Gabe say bye to him and watch him walk inside and Philip can't help but grin when he hears Gabe call him son.
- a few teachers looked at him weird when they said his name but Philip didn't care. They were saying his name. That's all that mattered. (Plus Tivoli is a small town in the middle of nowhere they probably didn't know lgbt+ was a thing til last month.)
- Philip felt pretty good over all going to school. He wore nice shirts that Gabe got him and a few big sweat shirts he already owned with and loose jeans and a pair or boxers along with his worn out converse. The only thing that got to him was his height.
- Philip still didn't change clothes for gym, he didn't care if he failed, he didn't want the boys finding out yet. Not in the small town of Tivoli.

Lukas and Philip (before they're official)
- they still meet the same way, and Lukas still makes the first move. Philip still films everything and they still kiss in the cabin.
- The first time they kiss it's slow and Lukas pulls away before Philip can react. The second time Lukas pulls Philip close and deepens it.
They spend hours like that. Just kissing and touching each other. Lukas hands traveled up a few times and Philip just shook his head and moved them down to his hips again. Lukas didn't try again after that.
Then, after what seems like decades, Lukas has Philip on his back and Lukas is shirtless and he reaches up to take Philips shirt off and Philip shakes his head.
"Can.. Is it okay if my shirt stays on?" Philip asks.
Then it all clicks in his head. The height difference. The voice. The reason he couldn't touch his chest. The reason why nothing was pressing against his leg when they ground against each other. Oh.
Lukas nods, sitting up, rubbing his face. "So you're...?"
"Yeah.." Philip nods, sitting up. "I get it if you don't want to.."
Lukas shakes his head, biting his lip. "Just.. found out in a kind of weird way.." He laughed. "Did I.. do anything.."
"No, you've been perfect..this is perfect.." Philip mumbles, pulling Lukas back down, kissing the corner of his mouth.
"Do I just.." Lukas glanced down at Philips crotch.
"Just keep doing what we've been doing, Luka." Philip gives him a small smile, pulling him back down.
They spend a long time kissing before Philip pulls a condom out.
Lukas freezes. He's.. not doing that. Not tonight.
"No, that's gross, I'm not doing that." Lukas says quickly and Philip is scared that it's because his body isn't really.. what Lukas was expecting.
"I'm sor-"
"I'm not gay."
Philip is both hurt and happy over it. Lukas called him a boy. He called their attraction gay. Philip nods, stuffing the condom back into his pocket.
"Hey, it's okay." He kisses Lukas again. "We don't have to do that."
- the shootings still happen and bascially all that's the same so I'm not gonna describe that.

- Lukas punched Philip and it hurt, not even the physicality but the fact that 24 hours ago they were kissing and holding each other.
- Lukas spams him a lot that day, telling him he was sorry and asking him to come over.
- they kiss and Lukas gets mad because he doesn't want to be that guy. (Philip feels bad because he wants him to be that guy and he's 99% sure Lukas is that guy.)
- Philip tells Lukas he won't be his bitch. (But it's still so hard to say no because he knows how gentle and sweet Lukas can be.)

- Philip feels horrible, knowing that it was his fault Tommy and Tracy died, but getting out and going to the city was amazing.
- Lukas held his hand and smiled along with Philip every time someone called him sir. (Lukas corrects them no matter what.)
- Lukas still doesn't go into the gay bar but it doesn't stop Philip from getting a drink and enjoying the men around him attention.
- When he comes back out he sees Lukas staring at the gay couple across the street with almost an envious look.
- Lukas calls him an asshole before telling him that he'd tell his mom about him and kissing him. (If Philip didn't know he was in love before then, he knew now.)
- They spend the rest of the night giving each other random kisses and alternating between holding hands and putting their arms around each other

- Philip feels disgusting when he films Rose and Lukas kissing and touching each other. He feels bad for Rose in general, Lukas doesn't treat her good either, and from what Philip has seen, she's pretty nice. He hopes she can find a good boyfriend some day. (He secretly prays it won't ever be Lukas again.)
- Philip hates himself because he's almost happy once the video is out because afterwards Lukas taught him how to ride the bike. (Which translates to, Lukas spent 2 and a half hours holding onto him tight.)

Philip and Lukas. (After their official with some normal headcanons in there just bc.)
- while Lukas was shocked finding out Philip was trans, it didn't weird him out. The gay thing, yes, but the trans thing? Not at all. Lukas only got worried because he thought he made Philip uncomfortable/crossed a line.
- Lukas gets his gym hour change so he can spend it with Philip. (And protect him from the assholes.)
- Lukas stands in front of Philip while Philip faces the corner and changes.
- Lukas never asks to touch Philips chest ever. (He's sure that when/if Philip wants to he'll tell him.)
- Lukas tells Philip every time they makeout that he can keep his shirt on and that it's totally fine. (It makes Philip cry the first time.)
- Lukas literally Googles about dysphoria and other things that go along with having a trans boyfriend like safe ways to bind and how long.
- Lukas tells Philip to take off his binder when they cuddle because it isn't safe to sleep in. He also kisses Philips head and tells him he's a boy binder or not.
- Lukas suprised Philip with clothes every now and then and sometimes a new binder. (He isn't sure how many Philip should have but he assumes one for every day of the week is okay.)
- Lukas always comes over when Philip is on his period and he rubs Philips stomach and tells Philip he's a bad ass bc if Lukas had cramps he'd probably just whine and cry.
- Lukas is 6'3" and Philip is 5'3"
- them at prom with their little suits and slow dancing and stepping on each others feet and Lukas just picks him up and spins him every few seconds.
- Lukas never questions Philips height or how his voice sounds.
- When Philip says he'll take his shirt off during sex Lukas literally almost cries, he doesn't, but he almost does because that's so much trust to put into someone.
- Lukas uses a condom bc duh but he always needs to use the one Philip is carrying bc he never remembers.
- before the boys ever go all the way Lukas asks him what is and isn't okay to do when they have sex and they come up with a safe word.
- Lukas calls Philip baby, baby boy, little man (it makes Philip blush), his man and angel most of the time.
- Philip calls Lukas Luka or sweetheart. (Sweetheart always makes Lukas blush and he pretends to hate the nickname.)
- Lukas always checks to make sure Philip us using his binder safely and that he's using his binder and not bandages or tape.

Philip and Lukas (Transition)
- Lukas didn't expect to cry when Philip got his first testosterone shot but he did.
- Lukas pays for half of Philips top surgery. (Philip refused to let him pay all and he's lucky he was allowed to pay half.)
- Philip only gets top surgery. (He asked Lukas' opinion but Lukas just said he'll love Philips body no matter what and he'll support Philip no matter what.)
- Lukas rubs cream over Philips scars.
- Lukas always kisses Philips chest, over the scars and just in general because his baby is so beautiful and so strong. (Philip just giggles and runs his fingers through Lukas' hair.)